The things they learn.....

You never know what traits your kidbits are gonna pick up.........

Oldest, @ 12.5 years old is starting to tsk @ me when I request him to do something that he, apparently, doesn't want to do....I think that may be one step away from eyerolling...IF I see an eyeroll...

3 year old daughter has started to demand things from people WHILE precociously placing her hands on her hips in quite a 'lil'-miss-know-it-all' fashion & answering rebukes w/ the words, "BUT mooooooomm......". I do NOT know where she gets it from.

5 year old has taken up quite a prayer-life. He says these one sentence prayers through out the day. What is a 5 yo praying for you wonder? Here are some current ones I have heard: "Dear Jesus, please help my find my shoe." {& while @ the doctor's office:} "Dear Jesus, please don't make it hurt, please don't make it hurt, please don't make it hurt."

I am really gonna work this week on focusing on the good &......well, we'll just see what happens w/ the bad! LOL ;)

Why is it......

That when you take your child to the doctor they are in perfect health....until you come home!

5 yo had his physical yesterday. He had a bit of a runny nose but NBD. This morning he wakes up w/ a deep cough, a fever, no appetite & did nothing but sleep all day! VERY unusual for this 5 yo!!!

I think he actually caught something from the doctors office!
SO NOW we go TO the doctor to GET sick?

Just great! maybe it is a conspiracy to generate more visits (& more $$$) for the health care industry. lol

Well, NOT this mama! Take a chewable & 'suck it up'! ;)

other blogs worth reading

LIfe WiTH MoM
Learning for Lifetime
Red Headed Rants & Rambles
Enjoy The Journey

My H blog, which is really humorous.----->Oh Manna Men (if you think I'M funny, you should meet my H!) ;)

And another one which I absolutely love, Love, LOVE reading (like a bad car wreck that you can't help but look @) Post Secret

The Princess of Quite Alot

Yesterday we stopped my the parents house to pick up gifts for dd & ds b-days, they have turned 3 & 5.

DD received some 'glass slippers'. They were plastic Cinderella shoes that light up, packaged & sitting upon a 'pillow', just like Cinderella's glass shoe. She was ooohhiinng & aaawwwing when she saw them. She tried them on & they were too big. So she wanted to take them off. I told her that she just needed to 'grow into' them & after her feet grew then they would fit.

She also got some hair accessories (a mini tiara of course) & some stick on nail jewels.

She promptly woke up this morning requesting me to paint her nails so she could put on the nail stickers. Of course I did.

Then she also went to find her 'slippers' & informed me that her feet had grown so they would fit & she could wear them now. LOL

Later, while serving breakfast, I called her princess when I asked her something & oldest ds remarked: "Mom, don't say that or she might start believing it." To which I replied, "Well, it's true. She is a princess of God, the King. And I want her to know it so she won't allow anyone to treat her as less than that." And I mean it.

The PLOT thickens.....

Didn't think 5 yo ds would notice....HA!

He asks me this morning WHY "Jon Hamster" has a white stripe? {didn't the original one have one?}

I say: "uhhhh....uhhhh....I think he always had that". He says, "nooooooo".

THEN I say: "oh it must have just been the way his hair grew...."

He was a bit skeptical but then he bought it { can you say:whew!} "OH!" & he excitedly ran off to tell his brother that his hamster 'grew a stripe'.

Another deposit to the Pet Cemetary!

ugh! NOT again, I thought when H informed yesterday that Jon Hamster aka Purple Dot was dead! He put his finger to his lips to imply to keep quiet about it.

Thinking oldest son was the one that found him I rushed to console him & asked: "The hamster's dead?" He replied,"what?".....oh dread! H gave me the 'look'. I thought he already knew!

He was so upset, naturally...what # is this now?

I'm beginning to think we ARE cursed! (IF I believed in curses that is)

Now H is out trying to replace Jon Hamster w/o the youngest 2 needing to know about it. I don't think they will even care....they didn't care about our other deceased pets.

They haven't even noticed that the cage is not in their room today, yet. H is out searching for one that is tan & white w/ red eyes? WHY did I buy the 'unique' one?

There are no red eyes to be found. I told him to just get the black eyed one & I don't think they will notice. If they do, we could always say that it's eyes just changed color, I guess.

In the quest to keep this secret, JH went out w/ todays garbage. Which upset oldest ds even more. He did not like that idea one bit. But how could we expalin another funeral for a pet we aren't even admitting died?

Oh what a tangled web we weave.....when we practice to deceive.......

5 is SO fun!

Today we went to the Nature Center. Nothing special.

But I noticed my ds, who is 5 yo, skipping along quite merrily, almost like a 'happy dance'.
When did he learn to skip?

Occasionally along the trail I would ask him, what do you think could live in there? For which most of his answers today were: a bear, a snow bear maybe?. I explained that bears would not be living @ the nature center. And a 'polar' bear would not be living in CA, but in the snow, like maybe Alaska. But that in CA we have the grizzly bear or brown bear I think.

He was counting butterflies & fascinated that there were more than what he originally counted.
He liked seeing the turtles.

He's learned to make the grapes squirt when he bites. I started this. I hold a grape between my front teeth & bite just so, & then the grape squirts who ever you have it pointed @.

We had Taco Bell for dinner. He, as usual, requested that I remove the cheese & 'salad' & as I did, stated that maybe he could just have a little salad on it.

When we were taking a quick trip to the grocery store before the park, we were getting some snacks & got carrots & he added that he wanted broccoli too. Because he 'likes' broccoli now.

Recently, on a different trip to the park, I heard him stating proudly to a 'new friend' that he was 'in kindergarten'. When did he realize this was something to be 'proud' of. I guess I did give him that impression, trying to get him excited about all the things he will be learning this year. Since we homeschool, I thought it was kinda funny.

Willy Wonka...not that sweet.

Ok, maybe it was the atmoshere...maybe it was the fighting kids...or maybe it was because I ended up IN the car getting my ears blasted because we had to turn the volume up tremendously so the 'outsiders' could hear the movie.......But this trip to the drive-in wasn't as satisfying as it has been in the past.

But going to see Charlie & the Chocolate Factory just didn't rate as a FUN movie-going experience this time around.

I did enjoy Johnny Depp, even though he didn't look all that attractive. My first thought was: Can we have the pirate back?

The oompa-loopa's were lacking & scary. I didn't like them @ all & I couldn't understand them & the music seemed too old, like a bad 70's folk song or something.

But besides that: I have a few questions that were left unanswered by the movie.

Ok, so 'willy' runs away as a kid & when he returns, his entire home is GONE! Ok, so WHO took off his braces? AND later he knows exactly where his father & thier home is: SO why didn't he ever return earlier AND HOW did he know where it was? And where was his mother? And how is it that the oompa-loompa's couldn't talk but they could sing entire songs?

It was fun to go see that movie but I missed the songs. I couldn't resist singing them when the appropriate time came in the story line.

I guess I will have to read the book.

My favorite line: improv is like a parlour trick, anyone can do it! {wink wink}

We met 'WALTER' today!

OMGOSH!

We went to church to prepare a film clip to promote this years VBS. While we were waiting for our children's ministry director to arrive this little boy ran through the parking lot. I thought: hmmm...he looks familiar. I asked oldest DS if he looked familiar & son said, yah, like somone on tv or something. BUT I thought: yah, but what would someone from tv being doing here!??!

Then our friend pulled up & said: KT, I think you will appreciate this: Walter is HERE! {from the tv show: LOST}(she's also a BIG fan!) THAT was why that boy looked SO familiar! But who would've ever imagined?

SQUEEEE! LOL I was so excited! Because we are BIG fans of LOST! He's a 'counselor-in-training' for our church's day camp. She asked him to help out w/ our vbs sketch as background w/ a few other kids.

He seemed sincerely nice & helpful. Unfortuneately he didn't have ANY info about the upcoming season of LOST! Did you really think I wouldn't ask?

He even was nice enough to tell the kids they did a good job on the sketch. How sweet is that?

We took a picture w/ him. My friend had her camera & it's digital so I hope she emails it to me right away! I also hope it came out & wasn't too dark or anything so you can see us all! LOL

I met somone famous! I met somone famous!
AND not just ANYONE but somone in a show I actually LOVE!

Oh what a really COOL day!

I'm SO glad we didn't go to the zoo today instead like we had been invited too! LOL

The Desperate Girlz Guide to Hair-Care:

Hair frazzled? No $$$ for a trim? Out of deep conditioner? Desperate?
Have no fear!
The 'desperate girlz' solution is HERE!

BEWARE:FIRST a warning: desperateness can lead to temporary insanity, such as asking H to cut your hair! No matter HOW desperate you THINK you are----> do not, I repeat do NOT enlist your H to help you cut your hair. You are NOT that desperate & if you do not heed my warning YOU WILL BE!

If your ends are feeling fried & your hair looks more like hay, just take a trip to the kitchen. No not to find comfort for your despair in that giant tub of pralines & cream! For the mayonaiise silly! Spoon a dollup on your hair, concentrating on ends as a conditioner. (**also kills lice) Rinse & shampoo as usual.

Product build up? A good vinegar rinse will clarify & bring back that shiny mane!

In desperate need of a hot oil treatment? Take that corn oil (or whatever is on hand), slather it on, put on a shower cap & blow dry. Voila'! Shampoo as usual.

Dandruff? Back to the restroom for that one. Give your scalp a tingly mouthwash rinse.

But remember, no matter how desperate you *THINK* you are, how down & out you think you look, how frustrated you feel, do not, I repeat DO NOT enlist your H to help you cut your own hair. You will ask him, he will not know how to respond, knowing he is setting himself up for disaster, but w/ persistence he will give in. This can only have ONE ending: very, VERY bad.

Finally washed the car!

The ktbunch was slated to 'help' but I didn't hold them to it. lol

You know how that goes....they start out all excited about helping mommy, which turns into washing their scooter, which turns into playing in the giant puddle on the sidewalk. I don't mind. It's actually easier that way so that they aren't rubbing soap over spots that I have already DRIED! LOL

My SIL showed up just as we started, to take oldest ds to the mall to buy some anime figures.
A funny thought crossed through my mind as they were walking to the car. His hair was a bit messed up & I have been nagging him ALL the time to brush it or CUT it. So as he was walking away I was about to tell him (nicely) to brush it in case there were some girls there.

I have NO idea WHERE that came from BUT I am glad I didn't say it aloud! THEN I thought it best that he NOT look attractive so he would NOT attract any female admirers. That's the LAST thing I need to deal w/.

I'm actually happy that one little girl, that I knew liked him, moved away! is that bad? He never had a clue but female to female, it was SO obvious. LOL

The 'jr hi' is having a beach day Wednesday. You better believe we will ALL be there. Mom, dad, little brother & sister......I think it will probably be the first time we will be in mixed company w/ possibly scantily clad 'hormones'. I know some would not approve just as some would see no problem sending 'jr' off w/o them.

I figure better to attend WITH him & get to know these kids who will be my sons church peers, myself, before I make any hasty judgements. Because we all know I really don't like kids & teenagers even less. ;)

This whole jr hi thing has got me SO freaked out. Last week we walked to church for drama that I lead. Then were not going to stay because I did not want to walk home in the dark & I didn't have my marriage class that night. I suggested that if he wanted to stay, maybe the jr-hi leader could give him a ride. She said someone could give him a ride, no problem. Of course I had to make sure that 'someone' would NOT be under 18. lol

They were on the basketball court & as I was walking away, ds yells out to me: Love you Mom. I was caught off guard. He had even given me a kiss on the cheek goodbye. I thought he would be embarrassed so I didn't initiate it. Being the joking family that we are...I yelled back, love you too & then went on to say it in a high pitched voice. "I love you son, I'll miss you, I really love you" & blew him kisses & everything.

I thought his friends would make fun of him or something & he'd be embarrassed but he just laughed & kinda did it back! {THAT'S MY boy!!! LOL}

Then I mentally kicked myself on behalf of mothers everywhere who get rejected by embarrassed teens. What WAS I thinking trying to embarrass him like that? I'll never make THAT mistake again. whew!

You can't be serious!

So after H weird 'attack' we decided to get a 'second' opinion by going to the county general hospital....which is the FREE county hospital. We'd never been there before.

It was a huge old looking building that looked like something out of a Stephen King movie for starters. We knew what room we had to go to but nothing more. We stopped @ the security gate to inquire as to where to park. We told the guard where we needed to be & where we should park. He replied w/ a smile & a rather chipper accent that, that was a very good question. He instructed us to go up the street to the 2nd stop sign & park in the parking structure, follow the blue line into the building & someone @ the front desk would tell us where to go.

I thought that was a bit wierd. I couldn't tell if he was being sacrcastic or serious.

We had a heck of a time finding any blue line in the parking structure & finally ended up on the top floor of the structure.

We followed the blue line into the double glass doors. There were 2 more doors that were subsequently locked. If it weren't for the cars in the parking lot, I would have thought the place was abandoned. THere was what seemed to be a speakered entrance but it was broken & barely hanging on the walls which all looked very dated.

We exitted that entrance & noticed some people that had come up some stairs on the side but there was a sign that pointed down the stairs that read: Psychiatric Unit.

I did NOT want to go down those stairs. Inevitably we did.

Yep, there was a blue line circling the parking lot on that level...but it didn't look like it led anywhere but in a circle. Across, what looked like a break area & down some more steps, sure enough, a blue line leading into another building.

We had to pass through metal detectors. Those security guards told us to head all the way up the hallway & we would see room 1020, which was where we were instructed to go.

Room 1020 was a waiting room/pharmacy. There were double paned windows w/ workers behind them. One was for the pharmacy, one for registration & a few for payment of fees.

Of course NOONE was behind 'registration'. After standing there a few moments waiting, H inquired @ the fee window where to go. The employee informed us that we needed to wait in front of the window for the chart nurse because the nurse was busy right now but if they walked in & didn't see anyone they would just leave.

While we waited I surveyed the room & the people in it. A security guard was in the lobby standing around. Then another security guard came in & purposefully walked around the entire lobby w/ a latex gloved hand @ his side & a non-latexed hand on his billy-club. He told one person not to talk on their cell phone. Then he left. THere was a guy w/ crutches, w/ a bandaged foot, that looked homeless, that tried to say something to him but the guard ignored him. Occasionally there were announcements over a speaker for specefic people to come & enter through the 'brown door'.

One lady walked in w/ a bag of stuff. She set it down on the floor near me in a corner & walked away. In a few moments she came back, picked it up & left.

So we stood there, in our spot, for about 10 minutes. NO chart nurse to be seen. Numerous people had walked in & out of the room behind the window but noone came up to the desk.
Finally H asked the guy behind the fee window again & he went & got the 'chart nurse'. It was a guy we had previusly seen walk in & out of that room.

We explained H symptoms & he asked if we had gone to registration yet? ugh!
He instructed us to go to the ER room & that they would register him there & then probably want to take care of him there anyway since H symptoms required tests that would be done in the next room over. He instructed us to 'follow the black line' all the way down the hall & it would take us to the ER.

So we exitted room 1020, determined to get to ER. We look down the floor & see 2 black lines headed in opposite directions, one straight & one to the left!!! I laughed @ the ridiculousness of it. There was also a black & white checkered line. We supposed, for a second, that he could have meant the checkered one & decided to take a chance & follow the black line to the left!

A ways down we were stopped by a security guard. We explained that we were instructed to follow the black line to the ER. She said "No, the ER is back that way, see those stripes on the wall? Turn right @ the wall w/ the stripes." This was now beyond ridiculous.

So we back tracked a bit to the striped wall. After turning a ways down that hall we were again stopped by security. We explained that we were trying to get to the ER!

He told us, it was 'right this way' BUT I had to wait in the 'waiting' area because that's what the next security guard on the other side of the doors would tell me to do anyway. I found one open seat in a corner. I saw the same lil' lady w/ her bag of stuff. She came & sat down next to another person & it seemed like they knew each other. I think she pulled a sandwich out of her bag & started sharing it w/ the person next to her. She left soon but left her bag under the seat.

There was a man & it seemed like an older daughter requesting to get the 'valuables' of his daughter & the security kept talking about her being a 'Jane Doe' & trying to locate her.

H came back very quickly & said we could leave. The doctor insisted he was FINE & that H didn't need any tests to check for a 'stroke' because he hadn't had one.

Apparently 'public health care' is a JOKE!

Stroke or Joke?

Only in MY life would my H be having some sort of weird muscle spasm & I think he was joking. He had some weird thing go on the other day that had all the symptoms of a TIA or mini-stroke.

Not the least of which was major facial droopiness & drooling w/ slurred speech. I noticed it quickly but thought he was joking w/ me. He looked too ridiculous.

A few moments later, I could see that he was having trouble standing & walking, so I approached him to see if he was ok. I assisted him back to the car. I kept asking him to smile. He looked so ridiculous & I also kept asking him if he was joking w/ me & it was hard to hold back my laughter. Then I got a bit upset thinking he BETTER not be joking w/ me.

He looked like the Joker in the Batman movie when half his face was melting off.

It reminded me of the time when we were camping @ the beach. H was out swimming w/ the 'guys' in the ocean. We were all fascinated whenever the life-guards had to 'save someone'. So when the life guard jumped down from his tower, ran to the water & dived in....I assumed my position @ the shoreline w/ all the other 'looky-loos' to see what all the fuss was about.

"HEY! That's MY H!" He had gotten caught in a riptide but the guys didn't believe him & left him out there. So instead he got rescued by the lifeguard. LOL

That's the price you pay for being the "funny guy" everyone knows, I guess.

Has THIS ever happened to YOU?

Yesterday........
I thought I would wash the car.
I know how much H likes it to be clean & it was dusty & quite cluttered inside.

Well, I never got 'around to it' as the day wore on & I felt a bit guilty.
I also wanted to take the middle seat out & put it back in the garage so it would be more roomy & spacious & I didn't do that either.

I started to feel more & more guilty about it.....like I was being plain ol' lazy about it.

Finally it was time for church & as we were getting ready to go I called H to make sure he would be off on time for me to pick him up from work as scheduled OR if he would be working late.......

He informed YES, he would be off as scheduled...but......HE has the car! DUH!

Then I had to rush to WALK to church! LOL

@ least I could STOP feeling so guilty for NOT getting around to washing the car! LOL

Movie emergencies vs. Real Life emergencies

Yesterday we had a real life emergency. Our youngest child & only daughter jumped in our friends pool sans floaties. (You can read about it
here.)

I thought it was interesting the difference between what this mini-emergency would have looked like if it were on a movie screen & what it REALLY looked like.

See IF it had been in a movie I think it would have looked like this:

The setting: a nice family vacation, camping next to a mean looking roaring rapids. Sweet musical accompaniement.
The scenario: cute toddler chases a butterfly......slips off the edge of the bank into the roaring rapids. Music begins to get fast paced.
Mother notices DD missing & pursues a frantic search for her when she notices her rushign down the roaring rapids towards a waterfall.

Mother screams: OMG! MY DAUGHTER! Somebody save her!
Dog: jumps in after the dd.
Father: goes to the edge of a cliff overlooking the falls below. Immediately takes off his hiking boots, one by one, tosses off his shirt to reveal an incredibly tight body & dives effortlessly into the dangerous waters below.
DD: goes under, pops up, goes under, pops up, goes under, pops up gasping for breathe, but manages to cry: save me mommy! More frantic paced music.
Dog: reaches toddler & w/ his mouth grabs the back of her hoodie.
Father: reaches toddler but w/ the rushing water cannot get a good grip on the family dog.

Next scene: the family rushes to the side of the river, where the water is extremely shallow & calm, surrounded by rocks as dad lays there looking unconscious w/ dd next to him.
Mother starts crying & suddenly father & dd awake, safe & sound, w/ a touch of bitter-sweetness as they realize their dog 'didn't make it'. Sweet sad music.
The family all cheers for dad being a Hero!
******************
******************
Now see IRL: things are much different.

First, there is NEVER any musical accompaniment.
It all happens in freaky fractions of a second. There is NO time to remove shoes, clothes or swan dive.
You're in a friends back yard, mom (me) sees dd going under & yells her name.
Fully dressed in the norm of flip-flops, jeans & a t-shirt, I sprint the 10 feet (which is about 3 steps) to the side of the jacuzzi, step in (flip-flops & all) & pull her up & out.
It all happens too fast for anyone to know what the heck has transpired UNTIL it is all over & dd is safe & sound.

Dad & the guys never even got out of their comfy seats around the table. They didn't even skip a bite of their meal.

There's no 'drama' & if I hadn't told anyone what had just happened, most would not have even known.

There was no time to even THINK about anything. I was in {what I call} auto-pilot mode. There was no fan-fare or hails of being a 'hero'.

H says later, "yah I think KT has proven that she IS the one to react the quickest & handle emergencies the calmest between the 2 of us." (we still joke about the fire we had in the living room, H stood there repeating, "what do I do?", while I ran to grab some baking soda & quickly doused the candle-induced flames! Then there was the time youngest son fell & busted his forhead open & H lost it when he realized they were both covered in blood, nothing a little non-toxic super glue couldn't mend. LOL)

Where's the camera guy, great lighting & mood music when you need him?

If truth be told: I do seem to do well under extreme circumstances but it truly is due to Auto Pilot Mode (GOD), when the emergency is OVER, I am reduced to being a blubbering pile of sobbing 'what-if's'!

When did THIS happen?

The last thing I remember......I had been rushed in to the ER for an emergency C-section, which produced a 6 week premature 4lb 1 oz baby boy.

Next thing I know, I'm waking up, the mother of skinny 12.5 year old 'junior higher' who sweats (& smells) like a 'man'!

Suddenly I'm thinking HOW can this be? NOW I've got less than 6 years to teach him everything he needs to know to enter the world as a fully productive & ethical adult. Already?

Talk about a biological clock ticking. Nothing moves faster than the time between when your baby is born & the time they reach puberty. (I imagine it's to make up for that opposite time anomoly that makes the 9 months {or in preemie case, 7.5} you are pregnant, seem to last for @ least a good YEAR!)

But if we're talking time travel & the whole 'time is relative' scientific law thing....then childhood should last @ minimum of 19 years & we could wrap up puberty in 1, maybe 2, if you're extra patient. Cause every mother knows that 18 years is not nearly enough time. Not NEARLY enough.

I tried to change things w/ the younger ones, honest I did: I keep telling my 5 yo to stop growing but he is SO disobedient! LOL And he keeps telling me how he can't wait to grow up so he can eat all the chocolate m&m's all by himself like I do!

Maybe I should make adulthood look unappealing & boring------> BUT I'd hate to give him the wrong impression. ;)

How to lose 20 lbs in less than 10 minutes.

Seriously it works. I should get a patent & market this @ 2am on Saturday mornings on UPN, it's THAT great!

It's ALL about the NEW math. Really it's just old math used in a NEW & exciting way!
I will share this fabulous secret w/ you for FREE, because that's just how I am!

Ok, let's say you weigh a buck fifty (that's 150 lbs)----NO that's WAY to easy! You must weigh an UNeven #, we ALL know the importance of EVERY pound, so think, do you REALLY weigh 150 or is it 148?

SO ok, let's say you weigh 147. THEN you drink lots of water & sweat alot one day. You drop to 144.

THIS is where my secret comes in.....you weigh 147 BUT you round off to 150, no big deal, using the properties of 'estimation' & 'rounding off'. THEN you lose a 'few' lbs.......& are down to 144 Now you have 2 choices, you can round off again by #1) saying you have lost another 5 lbs OR #2) you can just round down your new weight of 144 to 140....see where I'm going w/ this?

INSTANTANEOUSLY you have lost 10 lbs! 150 to 140!
And just for reading this today I will throw in, absolutely FREE, my added 5lb bonus, @ no added cost to you!

It's easy, on any given day a woman's weight shifts 5 lbs in either direction allowing us the use of the UNwritten 5 lb variable rule---> which is: you can UNDER estimate your weight by 5 lbs @ any given moment!

SO IF you had rounded off your 3lb weight loss to 5lbs (option #1) that would bring your weight to 139 then minus the 5lb 'variable' & it lowers to 134, rounded off is 130! VOILA...you just lost 20lbs! (150 to 130)

You should really be proud of yourself. You look great!

It's all about working smarter NOT harder!

It's gummish flavored!

That is what ds #2 called his piece of candy today.

He informed his little sister, "it's not gum, but it's just gummish flavored".

He savored that piece of candy like it was going out of style. WHY? because like every overly-guilt-ridden mom who fears future therapy bills, where I will be forced to admit that all my children's 'problems' can be directly related to ME, I try not to let them have too much candy.

We've been doing rather well lately. I haven't heard a request for a piece of candy for quite some time.

But maybe that's because they've been too busy being stupified by PBS. Because every GOOD mom knows, you only let your kids watch PBS!