Whatever.

My dad is 'engaged'.

Word on the street was that he was going to propose on Christmas Eve.....but he proposed a few days before. Thank goodness.

He didn't tell me personally, I was pretty much the LAST to know.....he did approach me on Christmas Eve w/ a lame, wierd look on his face & let me know.

Then he wanted me to go look @ the ring. I smiled & told her nice ring.

That's all I have to say about that.

I am a bit upset but it's probably not because of what you THINK.

Christmas Eve

We went to church on Chrismtas Eve this year, something we never do, that was a nice change.

After that we headed to my aunt's home, as usual. They moved even farther away this year which is a bit annoying & we were stuck in some traffic...Both of our families celebrate & open gifts on Christmas Eve so it always takes some finagling to manage both families & we've never come to a real workable resolution over this.

This year would obviously be different & we managed w/ absolutely NO tension between DH & I & that was especially nice.

We were there for only a couple hours & then proceeded to the inlaws. It's more fun over there because SIL has a PS2, so there are usually fun games to play like Guitar Hero or Singstar (karaoke video game) + the karaoke machine she has, like mine.

We opened gifts @ midnight as we do every year. I dressed up because I like to take any opportunity to dress up. Then we headed home for some zzzzzzz before morning could find us to open our own gifts.....

Guitar hero & karaoke @ the inlaws....that is my sil.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL---on tour

Last night was the BIG night....the littles didn't know but this was one of their BIG Christmas gifts...I told them we were going to a surprise & they had to DRESS up!!
We got there...in the heart of Hollywood...FABULOUS! Lights everywhere, lots of people, street performers, batman, spiderman, John Wayne, Cinderella, you pay them like a buck or something & you can take pix w/ them. I didn't have cash nor the time for that. Grauman's (sp?) Chinese theater is right there & Disney's El Capitan theatre too....so lots of good energy, tourists ect.

We go in & we let the kids know what is up. Sam's face drops in good wonderment. L is like whatever & E doesn't care cause he's SICK of HSM! lol We were listening to the soundtrack all the way there. lol I explain to them that you 'dress up' when you go to the theater....BUT there is a family right in front of us & the teens are wearing Victoria Secret SWEATS!!!! SOOO tacky!!!! BUT I noticed plenty of other families that knew what was up & they were all dressed up too.....there were plenty of other little girls that looked so cute all dressed up. lol

We weren't in the total ghetto seat/section, but one level below, still high up but not nosebleeds...but whatever. It was so cute to see S & L singing along. S seemed mesmerized by the whole thing. I wasn't so impressed but it was good enough. Dh & I saw Beauty & the Beast years ago onstage & that was really good. The story line is just a BIT different than the movie...it was nice & fun. Lil E said he liked it better than the movie anyway.


We went to eat @ California Pizza Kitchen afterwards, there in the center....you could see the Hollywood sign from there but for some reason it was NOT lit up. But all around were gigantic, fabulously lit & decorated Christmas trees & poinsettias. Dh's Improv school/theater/bar is right down the street (located on the walk of fame, btw) I never even noticed cause we walk down some back alleys to get there....but all this time we've been right down the street from ALL the action. lol Wicked (I hope we can get a chance to see it sometime) is also playing right down the street---so there were plenty of dressed up people along w/ tourists.



This was a special night for me because *I* had ordered these tix while we were STILL separated, we had gotten into a HUGE 2 hour FIGHT over the phone, VERY ugly.....then later I came across this show & thought I BETTER call him first---1) so he can help pay for them & 2) cause I don't know who's weekend it will be or anything, by then...then in true jekyll & hyde fashion, he was agreeable & invited himself. Which I thought was SO crazy!

I wondered HOW in the world it would play out that day (which was over 2 months away @ the time), thinking he'd still be w/ ____ & she'd try & be mature & not care cause it's "for the kids" (eyeroll) & I wondered if we'd sit on opposite ends of the row or what, we'd obviously HAVE to ride together---& I HOPED it would just be a NICE time, a 'family date' & maybe it would REMIND HIM of OUR FAMILY & US, as in old times...kwim?

So it was such a joy for me to be here on this family outing & we actually ARE still a family. :-D

Missing Mom....

My attorney's (former attorney, YAY!) Dh also died of Pancreatic cancer....well she said that the 2nd year was the hardest because the 1st year, you're still in shock. Makes sense....

The past few months have been so crazy in MY life that I haven't had much time to think of mom. I think of her, but not deeply.

The other day I ended up doing some impromptu Christmas shopping & found some boxed jewelry sets on sale, I let the littles pick out sets for all their aunties, grandma & nana. Then I felt a twinge of sadness & self pity that I didn't have a mom or grandma to buy for but here I was buying for Dh mother. I redirected my thought to the fact that I DO have 1 grandma left.

Later, alone in the car, I just started crying, out of the blue really, but I just felt so sad that I didn't have my mom here to shop for Christmas, to pick out a gift for her. I felt like: WHO do I buy for then?

After the play on Saturday night, I was walking up & my dad passed by & let me know he was going to go get his car. I saw my brother & his friend & the thought ran through my mind & I was about to ask DS: Where's grandma Gale?

I caught myself & was like WHAT THE HECK???? I hadn't had a thought like that, I think since the moment she died & I thought that i should call & tell her, share latest the news---that SHE had died!!! lol

But seriously...I was stunned for a minute that I even thought that.

Naturally, I guess I just expected her there. I know she would not have missed DS & I performing. She was always 'there'.

Tonight, as I was @ the mall Christmas shopping....@ the last minute I ended up in this store w/ nice odds & ends. I found a lovely wind chime w/ a stained glass sun & it made a lovely tinkling sound. I bought it to hang on the tree next to my mom's site. People do that there.

I think it wil be nice. I haven't been there for awhile.....

You know I've ALWAYS loved Mondays.....

AAAhhhhhhhh.......yes!

What a wonderful day to wake up too....no more art class, no more Lego League, no more play rehearsal...JUST Christmas..... & laundry, dust, dishes, need shampoo & toilet paper ect. Regular life.

I did have a nice tidy living room earlier in the day but now....there is laundry piled up & we didn't get a chance to chase out the dustbunnies yet...I thought I'd end up doing some holiday baking, sigh, but no. We DID decorate our gingerbread house though & i think it looks SWEET! ;-) No pix cause our camera is dying...but that's ok cause it was actually a gift to my DH from someone we'd rather not remember, right?

The play was a big hit, lots of compliments for ds & I both.

Lego league, not so hot but ds said he had fun. They had alot of unexpected technical difficulties; robot broke right before their robot design presentation & would not do any programs & then round 1 was immediately after & since the programs weren't working the robot couldn't accomplish hardly any 'missions'. Ds thought quickly under the pressure & set it to do a simple program of moving straight forward & that enabled them to @ least accomplish 1 mission. They received a low score but had time afterwards to reprogram it & their scores improved for the next 2 rounds.

Their project presentation was pretty lackluster. They created a wonderful website & although they could get net access outside, once they were in the presentation room...no access. They could not show the judges the fruit of their labors. I felt bad for them but the other team member held her own & talked about the research they did @ least.

They got an award for 'Perseverance', which was nice....of course they were awarded it as SOON as we LEFT! lol We had to rush off to the play.

DH & I attended a Christmas party w/ one of his co-performers, after church. Very low key, but I am always a bit uncomfortable in those situations, where I don't know anyone.

The night before, after the play, we went to a late night movie. We saw, I am Legend, w/ Will Smith. I love WIll Smith. I thought the ending sucked, but the rest was really thrilling, LOTS of JUMP scenes & pretty tenseful anticipation through out. lol Even DH jumped quite a few times, I covered my eyes alot.

I actually braved the mall this evening....later than I would have liked so it got crowded....what are you gonna do? kwim?

The Christmas Play...

whew! It's 10:51am & NO I am NOT out of my bed yet & I AM still in my PJ's! (yes, i know it's a luxury that i fully enjoy & appreciate my DH for...that HE works the 'paying gigs'!)

We had our 1st dress rehearsal last night...the play is Saturday night. It was the 1st for many aspects of the play....1st for crew members, choir, techs & sound...ect...

From the outside, looking in, it looks like shambles! Seriously. I know there was some trepidation..but I didn't feel much tension though. We got there a bit after 7pm but we didn't start 'acting' through the play until....was it 9 or 10? lol I want to say 10pm?

Everyone, from what I could see, seemed to be in good spirits which is remarkable because we are all average church people...you know, volunteers, most work 'day' jobs & it's right before Christmas...hello? kwim? Plus there was food--that's always a plus. ;-)

This isn't your average Christmas play either...it IS called 'Stable' but it has nothing to do w/ a stable, manger or the traditional Christmas story. lol It's also presented very UNtraditionally too....there are video flashbacks instead of live scenes.

I haven't seen the entire production because I was backstage....w/ my very well-behaved littles.
We did not get out of there before midnight & my dh picked up the littles around 11:15pm. They were antsy but not whining or troublesome in the least. I did have to remind them to be quiet backstage but we had to remind everyone of that. lol

Don't these things always look like a jumbled mess @ first? It's always been my experience anyway.....but like the A-Team, in the end, the director can say: I love it when a plan comes together. :-)

Annual Santa Train

Like every year, we headed over to the in-laws to wait for the Santa Train. I love it. It was extra cold & chilly.

This year though, Dh was actually WITH us. That was really nice. Santa handed us our goody bag w/ the traditional giant candy cane & nice red apple. Then back to the house to hang out & they got us pizza.

I KNOW I'm doing the right thing

Some stats taken from a blog by Dr. Laura.

Children living in homes with unrelated adults are nearly fifty times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as are children living with their bio-parents. (Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, 2005). Children of single parents had a 77% greater risk of being harmed by physical abuse than children living with both parents (National Incidence Study, 1996). Children living in stepfamilies, or with single parents are at higher risk of physical or sexual assault than children living with their bio-parents (University of New Hampshire’s Crimes Against Children Research Center). Girls whose parents divorce are at significantly higher risk of sexual assault, regardless of which bio-parent they live with (Family Law, Washington and Lee University).

These stats are REAL. This was a real factor in my choices within my life & most definitely my marriage. I think they should not be dismissed or taken lightly. Divorce hurts children in more ways than one & I think in more ways than many of us adults really want to admit.

Sometimes a divorce is completely unavoidable. I won't go into that. But it's disgraceful that more "Christian" marriages are ending in divorce than secular ones. (%52 vs %50) WHAT are we doing to our children? Talk about a ME generation. For many, divorce is mostly a means to 'upgrade'...because? *I'm* not happy. {pout, pout}

Well, when I chose to have children, I chose to commit to them, to meet their needs above my own, not the other way around. So what if *I* am tired, so what if *I* don't feel happy. My kids made no commitment to meet MY needs, it is not their responsibility. WHO is the adult here? kwim?

I believe children do not care if their parents are happy, they care that they can be secure & carefree & see their parents together. Don't give me the 'parents fighting in front of children is detrimental' argument either--so DON'T fight in front of your kids. You wouldn't make a scene like that in the grocery store, so don't in front of your children either.

We choose to be civil in a myriad of situations everyday, we can do that just as well @ home. AND if 2 people can 'co-parent' effectively, like so many programs now focus on, then they very well CAN be married together @ home too.

I believe all of this & it influences my choices & decisions.

If you have NO other reason for staying married & 'keeping it together'...'for the kids' is a DARN good one!!!!