same place, different floor

My Father-in-Law is in the local hospital. The same hospital that i have given birth to 3 of my 4 children.

The place where life begins for many, is the same place life may end for many, as well.

Hospitals are tricky places. The majority of people there are there because they are trying to *get well*. They are sick and want to be healed. Only child birth isn't a sickness or disease to be cured of. Interesting.

This particular hospital will be closed down in less than a month. A new one, in the same health plan, has been built down the street. It opens Sept 15, 2009. I wonder what happens to all the patients in the old hospital that day. Do they transfer each and every one of them by ambulance to the new hospital? What an undertaking that must be.

And all those paper files and records huh? Is there a transition period? Or is it simply that quick and easy that it can all happen in just one day.

Father in law is in the ICU. They have a 2 visitors at a time policy. I think that is pretty weird if the person is not expected to live very long. And why haven't we heard from hospice yet? I don't understand. Is that only for people willing to die...at home? Is it because father in law has chosen to receive all life saving procedures necessary? And why didn't we hear from or see any doctor all day? Why haven't they informed us of how far along he is or isn't?

I think it's very strange. But I am the 'in law' so it's different. I can't really ask the questions or approach the doctor. Bad enough I was the one bringing up the funeral arrangements.

But I am practical...I know it would be horrendous to have to try & think through that when the need actually *arises*, in that moment. So I do the ugly thing & bring it up now. But I also know it's the right & helpful thing to do.

I started the research for my husband since he asked me to. *MORE* mortuaries and funeral homes should really invest in web sites. Get with the 21st century people!!!

beginning of the end...

I know that's not really true.

My father-in-law is now in a coma. His kidneys are failing and soon his other organs will too and eventually he will be unable to breathe. My husband stayed the night at his parents house so he could help my father in law use the restroom and get around. He could walk with a walker but getting up was becoming increasingly difficult.

Then the phone call this morning that he was unresponsive and they were in the ER. It is quite different being on the other side. This time I am still trying to take care of people but I don't feel like I need as much care...

Being 'on the other side' is not with out it's moments...I'm the mom and mom's answer all the childhood questions, wipe the tears and hold the children close in their grief. My middles began to break down the other night. S was extremely distraught over the idea of death.

Trying to wrap his 9 year old brain around the fact that we will all die eventually. But a 9 year old brain can not go much farther than the here and now..so he was extremely concerned that we would all die and leave his baby brother all alone. Also the idea that *I* would not be around was overwhelming to him. It's very heart breaking to watch your children grapple with these issues. I am grateful for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit in those moments.

I know this really isn't the beginning of the end..it's only the beginning. Lots of hard decisions are going to have to be made after this. My father in law left no indications of his funeral preferences...there will be many 'opinions' voiced soon. Many have already begun...

I do not know how this side of grief will affect our family, either...

What is Love?

Birdy (7yo)is having this one way conversation w/ Baby K (4 mos) & it caught my attention.
This is what she is saying:

When your mommy & daddy are kissing, that's called love.
When you give your $$$ away to someone w/ no $$$$, that's called love.
When you give $$$ to your friends, that's called love.
When your mommy kisses you on your head, that's called love.
When your mommy & daddy tickle you, that's called love.
When your brothers and sisters sing songs to you, that's called love.
Or when your mommy rubs your head, that's called Love.
While holding up a notebook & showing him a picture she drew : (reading it I guess, in that slow teacher-like tone) I Love You. I Love You. that's called love.