Saturday, October 28, 2006

The funeral

The funeral was today. Everyone said it was beautiful & I spoke well....

It was better than the viewing last was AWFUL! My mother looked absolutely HORRIBLE! Not just bad makeup...but the entire shape of her face was disturbing...she looked NOTHING like herself @ all...we gave them a picture & everything.

It was the same mortuary as my grandma & my grandma looked SO I don't know what the heck happened but it was SO disturbing for me, seriously. We even had a 'director' come down...he was in a LABCOAT!!!! (talk about DRAMA! All discussing embalming right there in front of the casket & everyone! My brother was pi$$ed!!!) I showed him a fairly recent picture & he looked @ her & it was SO obviously different....she looked BETTER when she was DEAD @ HOME!!!! It ruined my night & I felt ROBBED!

I was looking fwd to it as just a little more time w/ her but instead I couldn't even look at her...I wanted them to close the casket but my brother said it was TOO hard for my dad to do that...I requested it be closed for the service today but brother said it would be too much for dad....SO instead....I just avoided it. I didn't go near the casket, did NOT let the ktbunch in....& today, I actually TOLD anyone I saw that really knew her, co-workers or my friends, to NOT look @ her because she looked embarrassingly awful. I don't mean she looked diff cause she was dead....they made her neck fat w/ rolls, wrinkles on the sides of her face under her eyes, she had NO cheeks bones & her mouth was stretched across her face. My GOD it was SO awful, I felt so bad...I took so much care to be sure she always looked nice & remained dignified & they did THAT? I don't understand WHAT they do but it looked like they let an amatuer do it. We sent her make-up for colors & nothing matched...I think her lips had PURPLE lipstick...her eyes were highlighted w/ WHITE eyeshadow?

WHen I saw her I SERIOUSLY thought they had made a mistake & it was someone else. Seriously. THen my mind was freaked out & I thought---WHERE is my mother? Maybe she is NOT really dead cause THIS is NOT her!!!!BUT I am pushing those thoughts out of my mind but I was just so upset & disappointed!! I've heard horror stories but I always though..oh that's YEARS ago, I'm sure things are better I said, my grandma looked great, like herself but more vibrant. They just butchered my mother's beautiful face.

The service...everyone said was very nice...80-85 cars followed the funeral procession to the graveside....many more went straight to the reception or home. There were SO many people I didn't even get to talk to many of them....even my friends.

The balloon release was amazing...the balloons kinda sucked & were a bit flat but enough of them floated up for an amazing moment....the wind picked up & carried them away.. I HAVE to post a picture....everyone said it was so beautiful & amazing....the kids wrote notes...& so did I...& many other people....I released mine see if it would even skittered along the grass...the ribbons were super long...then a breeze came & lifted it up & away...then the littles started to release theirs...some were too heavy so we quickly cut the ribbons...& retied the notes higher up on the ribbons...then released them....a couple went straight to the lake....but then a breeze came again & a bunch just started floating up as everyone started releasing them....I mean who would think some silly balloons could look so nice?

And we had this song playing that was so perfect, a Christian song.....a specefic line says: We will Praise You in the Storm...& it talks about waiting for God to wipe away your tears, it was beautiful. [Praise you in the Storm by Casting Crowns]

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