When Christ Just Sits There...

Click this picture to hear a song that perfectly conveys what I'm sensing.

What I'm learning for right now, is that we need to *sit* in the present sometimes, as uncomfortable and messy as it may be. Sit with the depression, the pain, grief, loneliness, heartache and heart break, that has no cliche way out or quick fix. Acknowledge the darkness and recognize, Christ sits in it with us. Sometimes he's shoveling the manure with us and sometimes he's sitting in the pit with us. 

We can't rush or 'think positive' the pain and disappointment away. We can't pray or worship it away. We can pray and worship with the pain and disappointment right beside and even IN us...and I think that is the sacrifice. 

He did create us to feel the depths of anguish, as much as we can as humans, then it makes the light so much brighter and the beauty so much more brilliant. 

Don't give up. Lift your face, with your tears, if you have them, to the one who knows and understands. You are not alone, not forgotten. He hears you.

The heavens

The heavens serenade me with their glory. Softly they call to me with pastel whispers of golden pink. Barely audible, they sing of peace and rest, repeating; shalom, shalom...shalom.

Tuesday Night in June

...the sound of rain drops falling on the umbrella above you, meant to offer shade. The humidity breaks with every drop as a warm breeze embraces. It will only last a few summer minutes...inhale as many breathes before autumn comes to exhale winter.

Rain, drops.

Is there a sweeter sound

than rain pelting your roof top,

windows and asphalt? 

Or a scent that brings more familiarity

than of those first few drops

on the pavement?

Creation sings us to sleep tonight,

pouring out her melodic blessings.

Friday Hike Day: Sycamore Canyon

Back to Sycamore Canyon this week. It's local, only about 15-20 minutes away depending on traffic. It's a mild to moderate hike, in the past it was very brown and I didn't like it, but since the rains, it hosts rolling green hills. The views from the top of the hills are spectacular. On a clear day, you can see all the way to the big city, Los Angeles.

There is a creek but it doesn't run along the trail exactly. You cross a narrow part of it along the Sycamore Canyon Trail. The hike is uphill most of the way to the peak, but that makes it easier on the way back.

The parking lot is small but free. You can also park along the street. There is one porta potty, enclosed in a nice wooden structure and the rangers keep it clean.

Clearing the tumbleweeds our friends used to block the trail. 

The trail can feel quite challenging on the uphill. The first peak offers an amazing view of the canyons, the city way off in the distance and if you are familiar with the area, you'll also recognize Rose Hills Memorial Park. The area my mother is buried at, specifically. The first hill is a great place to spread a blanket or towel and have a picnic lunch.

You can also continue along the trail to another peak, which offers a 360 degree view of city and canyon. There is also a water tower at the top. Due to the uphill nature of the hike, I wouldn't consider this very stroller friendly. If you have a small child, I'd put them in a front or back carrier instead.

Taking the steep short-cut.

The trails curves back and forth on the uphill but also offers "shortcuts" cut straight up the middle of the curves. They are steep but doable. We always take the challenge of short cuts. I believe children thrive and build self confidence in the outdoors and I've seen it to be true in my own children. My youngest is often at the front of the pack with my friend's youngest, leading the way.

I encourage my children to challenge themselves on our hikes. I feel like this is my personal therapy. I love being outdoors and I am so glad I am intentionally making time for it.

On this hike we saw hawks again and a small rabbit.

Creative Insomnia

I'm part of this upcoming art show...yet I don't consider myself an artist at all. Totally out of my comfort zone and I'm finding unexpected freedom in that. 

No expectation except to see what happens. A side affect of this burglary insomnia is (are?) the ideas I get in the middle of the night when I'm too tired to be afraid enough to self censure. Interesting for sure. 

Now, if only I could be so brave during the day light hours, when the weakness of fatigue is exposed. 

We Went Whale Watching!

That was a great alliteration. lol A sweet friend from church treated us all to a whale watching trip. It was aMAZing! We had so much fun. It was like being in Las Vegas, the way you're watching all over, hoping a whale is going to show up, one person sees something, everyone runs to that side of the boat, then BAM! Everyone is squealing and oohhing and awing in wonder over the whale sighting.

We saw humpbacks and grey whales. We also saw dolphins, sea lions, huge pelicans and other sea birds. It was a gorgeous winter day in California. We have never done anything like this before, it was such a blessing.

She also treated us to lunch at Ruby's. Being on the water was so relaxing, it was worth missing our regular Friday Hike Day to see these wonderful creatures.

 

At one point, the dolphins were swimming toward us and seemed to disappear under the boat. It was a sweet moment when the 5yo, Kurtis was the one to first spot them, under the water, swimming alongside the boat. He was so excited and I was grateful to witness his excitement in that moment. Priceless.

We couldn't get close to the grey whale because it was a mother (cow) with her calf. The captain did not want to disturb or scare them. I had no idea that a calf can gain 25-75lbs a DAY after birth! Crikey!!

Birdy looks like such a little girl in this pic, making a funny face.

When we weren't watching for whale sightings, we were able to relax and take in the peace of the ocean. There were paddle boarders and private boats, right next to the humpback whales. I can't imagine how exciting that must have been...to be so up close and personal.

The humpbacks actually came out of the water, a few times, nose up, to get food. They also came out in a half moon formation, diving back under with a wave of their tale.

I couldn't get very good pictures with phone and a few of the best moments will remain hidden in the memory of my heart forever. I think, maybe, it's meant to be that way sometimes.

Afterward, we stopped at a little coffee shop as Christine treated us again to drinks. I had a tea latte and the server created mine with the foamy milk in the shape of a heart. Just another reminder of how blessed and surrounded by love I am, everywhere I go.

Rainy Day Walk

Every Tuesday my daughter has guitar lessons and I use the 30 minutes to get in an extra walk...while also praying {multi-task!}.

Today it was raining but not that hard. I certainly did not want to just sit around for 30 minutes...My sciatica began to hurt a few months ago and has been acting up ever since. There is no explanation for it but it pretty much hurts no matter what I do; sit, stand, walk, sleep...etc.

I finally had to admit that certain exercises seem to aggravate it more, and cut back on my 'morning crunch' routine. I started using the time to walk and pray (which I used to do but had gotten away from)...this way I am still exercising but in a gentler manner.

I bundled up, grabbed an umbrella and was on my merry way. It was actually a gorgeous day. Sure it was raining...but everything was lovely. Bright flowers and colorful leaves of autumn, in brilliant hues of yellow, red and orange paved the side walks.

Who needs rose petals when you've got these amazing leaves? He leads me along the path of righteousness...

The lover of my soul was before me, with glorious displays of His love, just for me. It was breath taking. Everywhere I turned, looked and pay attention, I saw His love, in the details.

I always enjoy my walks but this was one of the best  I'd had in awhile. Spending time with God isn't just in sitting down, reading the Word...it's getting out there to SEE His Word in action. To commune WITH Him. Meditate on the wondrous beauty and majesty around us, right in front of us.

Be blessed!

Happy Thanksgiving

Our self-timed groupie...the best we could do.

We didn't get to go camping this summer, like we usually do, so I took the opportunity to get away for the Thanksgiving holiday.

We've camped for Thanksgiving when oldest was younger but the other three never had.

Personally, I was using it as a bit of escape too. I didn't want to have to face the idea of another holiday, *all together* when we aren't *together* the way we should be. It's too hard on everyone. At the last minute I made a reservation at O'Neill Regional Park.

In my family, I don't know if I have a reputation or what but I am usually assigned to bring the 'bread rolls'. It's lame because I love to bake desserts but I get stuck with that. It's convenient though, for sure.

Well, it was interesting to plan a Thanksgiving camping menu. The weather was unpredictable. Were we going to need more hot foods or cold foods? I cooked more for this camping Thanksgiving than I have any other Thanksgiving...and I loved it!

Our Thanksgiving table.

Our meal was fabulous and it actually wasn't that hard to do. I cooked the main side dishes the night before we left so they only needed to be reheated. We ran into an issue when our one burner camping stove ran out of butane after our first breakfast.

We had to cook over the fire in a make-shift way. It took a long time but remarkably, every thing stayed warm on the table.

Our Thanksgiving breakfast (that took 2 hours to cook) menu:

Pumpkin Pancakes, bacon, Hawaiian rolls and orange slices.

Thanksgiving Dinner Menu:
Turkey melt sandwiches
wild rice with cranberries
apple-sage stuffing
potato medley (sweet, yellow, and red)
corn, baked beans, pumpkin & dutch apple pie, pumpkin pie mini tarts,  tri-color tortilla chips and a toast with Sparkling Cider. Oh and Red Vines. lol

Our camp site is down there...view from our hike.

I didn't make or cook everything from scratch. It was a mix of scratch made, store bought and canned foods. (Come on! It's camping!!!) Everything was absolutely delicious! We couldn't even finish it all, much less our sandwiches...they were piled high with 3-4 different flavored turkey meats from the deli and various sliced cheeses.

The weather was quite warm during the day light hours. We seemed to have the only campsite with out shade! haha. As soon as the sun went down though...bbbrrrr...it cooled down quickly. We didn't realize how much wood we would have to burn through.

The camp ground itself was wonderful really. A great 'beginner' site. Family friendly. Very bike and hike friendly. It was like a little treasure hidden away in the middle of suburbia. We found a grocery store and pharmacy only 10 minutes away (perfect for last  minute needs you didn't realize you had or when you forget essentials like...soap, shampoo or more firewood!). The park had great (ie: real & clean) restrooms that included free, warm showers. There was a play ground and nature center on site as well. The nature center states it is only open on the weekends and weekdays via reservation. We showed up on Saturday before we left, at the designated *open* time and were disappointed when it remained closed.

Emotionally, we all felt a bit 'off'--which I think is to be expected under the circumstances. We handled it like we usually do---> talking it out, taking a walk and with humor.  It didn't help that we forgot CHAIRS! Of all things. haha. We improvised and used the bench seat from the van but with out shade...we found ourselves often sitting IN the van...that wasn't fun but it made our trip memorable for sure. In the end, everyone agreed that we enjoyed the place and would like to return again...even next Thanksgiving. Maybe we will make this a new annual tradition. It helped that is was also ONLY about an hour's drive away, if that.

Happy Halloweenie!

We did this last year and it was a big hit. I want my children to not be self centered, to learn to serve others willingly.

I've also, always thought of Halloween as such a wonderful opportunity to bless so many people at one time...how many other times do you have random strangers coming to YOUR door, willingly?

With those thoughts in mind, we turned up the music, brought the 'party' outside and set up a canopy and tables to serve and love our community and neighborhood.

Last year it was chili, this year it was weenies! aka hotdogs. We had nearly 100 hotdogs and we gave  away about
 all of them, minus a few we ate ourselves, to complete strangers. We had to shut it down by 8:30, which I felt was pretty early.

Then we walked around our neighborhood 'trick-R-treating' but most homes were not giving out candy at all, which was strange. Plus, it started pouring rain. That was fun for a little while. I am so proud of my kids. Not one complaint. Even Kurtis really enjoyed climbing up in the front tree 'hiding' and 'scaring' people. Which meant most people did not see him until he made some funny voice that a 5yo would consider creepy and then they saw him. It was hilarious.

The rain was quite nice actually. A great way to usher in a new month. I have great expectations for this month of 'thanksgiving'.

Red Sky at Night

'Red sky at night, sailors delight.'

My phone doesn't do this fiery sky justice...which may just be the point. Some beauty is not meant to be contained or captured. Stepping out of work to encounter this brilliant view, was the best thing that happened to me today.

I know that God is good all the time...sometimes He just makes it more obvious. 

One Summer Rainy Night...

That one night in August, when we stayed outside in the rain, till nearly 2am, catching up with friends I thought were long lost, talking about love and life and Jesus and not Jesus and the past and the future and grace and our way of working it all out with fear and trembling, wishing I was brave enough to leave nothing unsaid and had all the right answers, when everything was a beautiful mess on the inside and the outside and we exchanged smiles and hopes and faith and hugs, and no one took a groupie, then I came home with my clothes and hair wet and my heart was full...