Friday Hike Day: Return to Etiwanda Falls

We were actually headed to Stoddard Falls today but unfortunately we ran into a weird issue. Since we were already in the area, we headed back to Etiwanda Falls since our friends hadn't been there before. 

Like last time, full sun trail. Bring plenty of water. It can get HOT. The hike isn't long but it can be steep. Imagine walking up stairs for 30 minutes straight, with the heater on. Yah, its kinda like that. 

You'd never believe there was a shady water fall to greet you at the end. The stream is so cool and refreshing. You can explore a little more if you follow it up. It isn't well maintained though so watch your step.

This time was extra special because Kurtis wanted to get baptized. I baptized him in a small pool of the stream with his siblings and friends as witnesses.

Parking is free, lot is gravel. No restrooms. Again--sun protection gear and more water than you think you will need.

Enjoy your next adventure!

A Moment of the Sea

You only get to experience the sea crashing over you once. When that wave reaches its peak, then begins to recede, the next wave that crashes, is an entirely different ocean. New sand, shells, water, particles. A mere echo of the waves before and glimpse of the ones after. Waves drip down, returning to the earth, transformed into memory fragments.

Friday Hike Day: Bridge to Nowhere {revisited}

Examples of the trail...dry, dusty, full sun, river crossing, sand, gravel and rocks.

Right before we finally reached the bridge, I think we were all feeling discouraged. My six year old had started whining and nearly crying. I was feeling frustrated and voiced my concerns maturely, "Freakin A! Where's the effin bridge!?!"

We first visited this trail last March and did not reach the bridge. We wanted to return ever since but knowing it's a very long hike, we didn't have the time until now. It still took some figuring but we did find the part of the trail that we missed last time, leading to the bridge. As I shared the first time, the hike is NOT stroller friendly in any way. One hiking site reviewer called this hike easy. No way. 

It's about 10 miles round trip from the parking lot. If you are in shape, hiking with other adults in shape, you may arrive sooner but it took us about 6.5 hours round trip and that does not include the time we took to eat lunch and swim. 

We made it this time!
Bridge to Nowhere.
Literally.

We saw the private property sign welcoming us to the Bridge to Nowhere and felt excited--we had made it. Except it's still a ways and out of sight. It's really just the sign indicating you are entering private property and are welcome but not for camping, mining or digging etc.

Finally the bridge was there and we felt accomplished. The view is rather spectacular.

Hiking to the river, from crossing the bridge and down the side of the canyon.

I am so proud of our kids though. I mean come on--10 miles!?! My 6yo hiked 10 miles! While other adults were leery of joining us, my 6 year old was crossing the river and traversing cliff sides...for 5 miles each way!!!

Stopping for lunch at the river under the bridge was refreshing. The teens found a small but deep spot they could jump into. The water looked like a river of chocolate milk. It was muddy but cool. It was a very hot day. The trail is often in full sun unless you try to stay close to the river. The end to the bridge though, you can't stay near the river if you want to get to the top of the bridge.

We had a lot of water but I believe we still needed more. After the hike, at the base of the mountain, we each got a liter of cold bottled water and drank it down like nothing!

I strongly recommend hydrating the day before and bringing MORE water than you think you need..and more after that. For my family, we each brought a liter and we still felt thirsty. Remember, you drink it as you go so your pack only gets lighter as you hike.

A small waterfall and swimming hole below the bridge.

Also sunblock. I missed some spots and now have funky tan/sunburn lines on my arms, calves AND my scalp. My hair was split into two braids so my scalp is sunburned along my part.

This hike is not simply a long walk. The trail consists of ups and downs. There is some climbing up and over rocks. There are a few spots of stone stair like ascents and descents as well as large wooden plank stairs.

I know the hike could be more enjoyable if you start earlier, like very early in the morning. We've got two larger vehicles full of kids (and usually more!) so we just couldn't get out there before 11am. Peak sunshine and heat. I think it would be fun to return and not hike but just hang out at the river and swim. There is a trail leading from the gravel parking lot, in the opposite direction, to the river that looks like it would be relaxing.

Again we passed gold prospectors. We say hello, ask them how they're doing and keep moving. Most are friendly back, with a smile and one sentence chit-chat. We always use caution when hiking and that includes passing people on the trails.

When we encounter a potentially treacherous spot along a trail, we are shameless. We lay down our pride just as quickly as our butts when necessary. We are not ashamed to sit and slide down a steep descent, hold on to cliff walls and each other. We do not consider our hikes solitary endeavors...but that is a post for another day.

I feel proud of our kids. They are and were awesome. I wish my Bird had been with us though. She was out of town with her cousins. The river makes this hike fun, the trees beautiful, the climbing and endurance required adventurous.

We saw larger lizards and the most dangerous situation we came across was a very large black widow in a rock crevice we would have placed our hands as we climbed. Always stay aware of your surroundings.

Until next week...Be Adventurous! 

Fear, Anger and Fireworks

MY freedom...my Liberty!

One of those moments you aren't prepared for. Everything inside, you were trying to repress all day suddenly goes hay wire and escapes with out your permission.

His sparkler shot out at me, right into my arm. The searing pain signaled my brain it was ok to release everything that had been held in. I screamed as I did a strange dance, believing I was catching on fire or about to.

I felt shaky--the fight or flight adrenaline rush in full affect. My knee-jerk reaction was to scream and punch him in the shoulder.

He had a great time swimming.

I don't know exactly why I felt so tense, to begin with, but as the fireworks started it only got worse. Maybe it was the lack of control...illegal fireworks shooting around me-who knows where they might land or which one would be the one that required an ambulance to come speeding down the street for the night's reckless tragedy, or what other unpredictable predicament the neighborhood may find itself in.

I kept taking deep breathes, reminding myself there was nothing to fear. Kids were lighting small smoke bombs with blow torches. No one else seemed to mind. In the end, I found myself apologizing for being upset that I was hurt and reacted with an uncontrollable emotional response.

Asking myself later if my emotional outburst was even warranted. I don't know. How do people normally react when they are unexpectedly struck with something that is burning/on fire/spitting embers left and right?

Maybe they are much more emotionally controlled and calm enough to assess the immediate moment with out second guessing. Maybe they have no fears and nothing to be angry about. Or maybe my reaction was a perfectly normal one to have when you think you might be on fire? I feel concerned that I don't know.

This incident reminds me of one reason why I never purchase fireworks and we always go to professional firework shows.

Before all that, we spent the afternoon with friends...typical barBq, pool and sun. The kids have really gotten closer since we've been hiking together every week.

I have a *thing* for photo booths...

There were other potential plans, that had become somewhat of a tradition, but to be honest, I wasn't up for it. Too much pressure to pretend our family is something we're not...and pressure to pretend we are friends with people we really aren't. I decided to go where it would feel emotionally and relationally 'safe' for all of us, with friends that we could relax with.

We had a great time over all. I really wanted to go to Knott's afterward to watch the firework show there but I ended up feeling so exhausted. Maybe from the adrenaline rushing...

Tuesday Night in June

...the sound of rain drops falling on the umbrella above you, meant to offer shade. The humidity breaks with every drop as a warm breeze embraces. It will only last a few summer minutes...inhale as many breathes before autumn comes to exhale winter.

One Summer Rainy Night...

That one night in August, when we stayed outside in the rain, till nearly 2am, catching up with friends I thought were long lost, talking about love and life and Jesus and not Jesus and the past and the future and grace and our way of working it all out with fear and trembling, wishing I was brave enough to leave nothing unsaid and had all the right answers, when everything was a beautiful mess on the inside and the outside and we exchanged smiles and hopes and faith and hugs, and no one took a groupie, then I came home with my clothes and hair wet and my heart was full... 

Hello June

♡♡♡Luke 1:26-28 In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth,

a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”♡♡♡

★Who knows what could happen in this sixth month of the year? Or in the next six months...Or who might visit...★

Waiting Through the Black Out

Last night I went to an outdoor play. After intermission, the lights lost power. The audience lights would come on but not the stage lights and specials. Then even those would go out again. It was frustrating. When they finally came back on the 1st time--everyone cheered. But we didn't know it was only the audience lights & not the stage lights. Each time they came back on after that, no one cheered. 

We went through this a few times.

Some people began leaving. Finally the producer came out & told us they figured out the issue and got everything working again and the show would resume shortly. It still took awhile. It was uncomfortable, getting later, the ground was wet with dew, muscles were stiff from sitting so long. I personally began to wonder if I wanted to keep waiting. 

I already knew the story (Wizard of Oz). I know how it ends. I wasn't sure anymore if it was worth waiting, to physically watch it unfold. But I KNEW it was my all-time favorite movie and now I had an opportunity to watch it LIVE, on stage. Who knows when I would have that opportunity again...if ever? I didn't even voice my doubts and concerns to my family. If I mentioned my wavering in giving up--it would be far too easy for them to start to decide they were tired of waiting too.

We stayed and I nearly cried at the end. We know the story...Dorothy finally realizes THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME...and is reunited with her family.

The lights might be out right now. You may have experienced some false starts even...you CAN choose to leave and give up. You might feel like it's not worth waiting for anymore. The end of the 'show' no longer excites you, doesn't feel worth it. 

Even after reassurance from the producer, that the problem was fixed...the lights did not immediately come back on and the show did NOT immediately resume. All we had to go on was the WORD of the producer that everything was going to be ok. There certainly wasn't anything WE could do to help or fix the situation. 

The producer was right though. The lights did eventually, permanently come back on. The show DID resume...and it was fabulous. Just like Dorothy had to figure it out on her own. Her family couldn't help her 'get home'. But in the end she DOES buut not a moment before she realizes that: there's NO place like HOME. If I had given up and left...I wouldn't even have been able to share this with you right now.

Stay strong brothers & sisters. The show MUST go on. Keep praying.   

Good Bye Summer

It's time to wind down for us. The freedom of lazy days with out care for time and obligation are gone. Technically it is still the season of summer but we've stepped into the 'no-cartoons-or-tv-until-all-work-is-finished season--that means SCHOOL!

I love to look back over our summer and all the wonderful times we shared, especially the moments I never got around to writing about. We had lots of relaxing days filled with peace and joy.

We enjoyed our city's annual firework show. This year we tailgated with my brother's family, my dad and my other brother and his wife.
























One afternoon my Birdy-girl and I played with a henna kit and decorated ourselves. We had a lot of fun creating designs and writing words on our hands and feet.

We had so much fun, even Sammy decided he needed to get in on the action. He ended up with designs on his hands too. One of his hands had a compass on it. It was almost prophetic because I know he was really needing direction in his life, from the Lord, at that time.

I wrote words on my hands. I felt like they would be absorbed into my soul. They were symbolic representations of the virtues I needed and wanted to carry in my spirit.

That was a pleasant afternoon. I can't wait to get another kit and practice making more designs on our hands and feet. Birdy ended up with a design that went all the way up her arm!

I had set a goal to run one mile every day for a year. Well....I made it 28 days straight before I broke my streak. It was what I needed at the time and it helped me maintain my emotional and mental stability. Someday...I really will reach my full year goal.

Sam had a few auditions and one of them was at Universal Studios. On our way back through the lot to our car...we snuck and took this quick shot with Mr. Potato Head!

Another summer day, my nephews went with us when Sammy had two auditions in the same general area. In between, we decided to hang around Hollywood and check out the Walk of Fame.

I don't think my nephews had ever been to the Walk of Fame before. Sammy really wanted to get a pic next to Michael Jackson's star but his was too crowded.




Then there were days we stayed home and did exactly what summer is for: nothing. We laid around the house, kids got wet in the back yard or jumped on the trampoline.

In the evening times we'd gather on my bed (you know, community property) and choose a favorite worship song or two and sing along. Then we would pray. This has now become an almost-nightly tradition.





One afternoon, a friend from church invited the ktbunch over to ride her horse. They absolutely LOVED it. This was one of the first times they'd ever *really* ridden a horse.

They had so much fun and really enjoyed it. Even Kurtis got in on the action. The horse really seemed to like them too. My kids were so great, they volunteered to help clean up the stable and feed the horse afterward. Who knew shoveling manure would be so 'thrilling'? lol

They got the hang of leading the horse around real quick, and took turns with each other.

Over all, I'd say we had a pretty fab summer.

We did some new things and stuck with some annual traditions. We spent lots of days at the beach and parks.

One night we even got to watch an outdoor, evening performance of Romeo and Juliet. It was lovely.


Happy Summer.

Following in the Wrong Direction

Recently, the Mr & I were driving separately to the same event (a friend's child's birthday party). I agreed to follow him because he wanted to park on the street and not pay for the lot and I was not familiar with the area.

We were almost there when I noticed the Mr. in the exit lane earlier than the directions I had, said to exit. I got in the other lane and remained on the freeway since the Mr. was obviously about to go the wrong way. He did not follow me. My directions turned out to be wrong and my frustration began to rise quickly.

I finally contacted him w/ my phone and was quite irritated at the entire situation. I was upset because he had not communicated with me what he was doing. I thought I knew 'the plan' we had agreed to. He thought the plan was simple enough; I would follow him. What else was there to explain? This doesn't work well for a girl who lives for 'information'. 

I replayed this situation in my head over & over & over ad nauseum. For me, I realized, it was very hard to 'follow' when I didn't 'trust'. I think this is important in a marital relationship but I'm not sure if it is a requirement for 'following'...

Here we were, the other day--similar but different situation. Again, going to another unfamiliar-to-me location, in separate cars. Having had a couple weeks of analyzing the previous situation, I was determined to 'do it right' this time. 

"I will follow you," I emphasized and assured the Mr. 

He gave me the directions anyway and let me know I could always call him if necessary. (in other words-in case I got lost) He was making an attempt to communicate with me better and recognize my need for information.  I thought this was nice, at first.

Now, I'm thinking, he may not have trusted me to follow, even though I gave my word, because I gave my word last time, remember? Maybe, the Mr. had a need I had not recognized...

Everything was going great...until, once again, the Mr. deviated from the plan, as I understood it. He had only told me of one freeway and then the exit. We were now on another freeway, headed toward a toll road I certainly didn't have any money for.

Wow! I don't know why I was so surprised how strong my urge was to stop following. I was certain, once again, he was going the wrong way. But I wanted to follow...and I wanted to trust.

I kept following, hoping...and praying he was right. I wanted him to be right.

The exit we wanted, was right before the toll road. We made it.

I released a deep sigh of relief...and I hope, at least, a small victory. 

So many times, I've stepped out in faith, to follow God. Then I find myself beginning to feel anxious because I'm not sure of the route He's taking me on. Or it doesn't appear to follow the plan, as I understood it. Everything in me wants to scream, "You're not going the right way!"

I'll feel like I hit a breaking point as I settle into that I-can't-take-it-any-more collapse of defeat, when suddenly the plan, or part of it, is revealed. 

"Great. Thanks God for understanding. Now let's get this show on the road. I'm right behind you." I'm thinking He understands me and knows how much better I feel when I have the directions or the plan.

Maybe though, He was only revealing the plan...because He didn't trust me to follow...

Maybe...I need to trust that the destination will be worth it, whether I know the way to get there...or not.

Hello August

This fountain reminds me of a ground level fountain the Mr & I ran through last summer in NY. The memory caught me off guard today and I found it ironic. Or maybe it was bitter sweet?

There are 'officially' only 20 more days until my ktbunch starts school again. I get that feeling like I have to cram all I can and everything we haven't done this summer into the next 20 days. Good thing I don't often listen to my feelings. Things are going to be different though. I feel as if this might be our last summer in our current life style--mom at home.

The truth is I don't know exactly what my, our, future holds. I have my ideas and plans, like starting work in September--outside of my home. I have a few jobs lined up. I think I'm excited about it..but not about having to be away from my family--especially the youngest. He's gotten more clingy the last few months. He nearly goes into hysterics (not exaggerating) when I have to leave somewhere or when his siblings leave with out him.

I'm not worried or worrying--I'm focused more on enjoying the time we do have together. Today we went to a really nice local library that has this ground level fountain outside. The inside of the library has a lovely children's section but we didn't go inside today. The weather was great but warm.

By the time I started putting my feet in the water--I didn't want to get out. Sammyboy was ready to go though. The water was so refreshing. It's nice to have local areas like this, to hang out, keep cool and for the children to splash around in.

Our summer has been rather pleasant. We've created some new nightly traditions that we really enjoy. The trampoline is fun. We went camping and enjoyed our city's big, annual firework show and of course spent plenty of time at the beach.

I have been so blessed to be able to spend so much time with my ktbunch. Every day is a gift and I attempt not to waste it. I know I do take it for granted sometimes though...being human.

Later when we got home, the older boys went to youth group. I started to feel a little melancholy and made a choice not to give into it and do something instead. (and I had already cleaned my room. lol) I decided to join Birdy,  her friend and K, in the backyard on the trampoline. Then we all lay there relaxing and leisurely staring up at the great big sky...I saw a bird really, really high up in the sky. I think it was a hawk but I don't know for sure. The sky was clear and open with out any clouds. Suddenly, I blinked or something, only for a moment and the bird disappeared. Just.like.that.

I know it sounds crazy. I don't know what to think about it or how to explain it. We all witnessed it.

Hope your August started out well...

Six months from now...

is going to be so much better than today. Really.
By this time next summer...you will be amazed at how far you have come.

You are going to get through this moment. Through this day.
Life will change. You will change.

You will praise God, when you look back & see how He brought you through. 

As the Israelites crossed over Jordan & God told them to pick up stones--from the river bed...symbolic on many levels, one of which was to have a tangible reminder of what God did there, when they placed their feet into that river & waited....waited for those waters to part. Similar but different from when their ancestors crossed the Red Sea.
You will have those stones, as memories you carry in your heart, to look at & remember what God carried YOU through.
Because you WILL get through it. It may be different. It may be a path that feels similar but it will be different. YOU will be different.
I will be different.
It will be better & it will be beautiful.
Praise God now, for what will be.

Let God carry you, teach you & bring all things to light.
I believe what he REALLY wants to do FOR YOU, is show you how HE sees You. Forget about what you see happening around you. God's got that covered. Look at God & let Him show you; YOU.
Let him uproot all that was comfortable & 'safe'...to reveal what may have been hidden or forgotten all these years.
Let it all go, fall back & let Him catch you. He will.

I know that you already know this.
No one can walk this path but you.
You are not alone. You never have been.

This time though, you will stay focused.
You've stepped out on the water, don't you look down! Don't look to the right or the left. Look at Him. Do you see his face? Look into His eyes as He looks into your very soul. He's smiling and you're walking with Him...on the water. He's smiling at you right now. He's cheering you on. He can see beyond this moment. He knows it's beautiful--do you trust Him? Yes, you do or you will. Choose right now.


The Lord bless you, and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26 NASB

First camping trip of the summer

ready to set up camp!

camp all set thanX to biggest brother and sister.

We just got back from a short two night excursion to San Gorgonio campground. It is part of the San Bernardino National Forest. It is 24 miles below Big Bear City, a popular recreation and tourist area of the mountains.

We left on Monday afternoon, a little later than expected--okay two hours later than I planned--but it's all good. I am a pretty flexible person and mom so there was no stress about it. We had been to this camp ground before and we didn't have a reservation. They offer first come-first serve site options but what I did not know was that changed the day before we arrived--it switched to reservation only. Which only means reservations take priority. There was virtually NO ONE there! Maybe about 3 other sites were taken so we had our pick of the park. It was great and we had all the privacy we wanted. That is a perk for going during the week instead of during a weekend.

My big camping *splurge* this year...$8 hammock I found at the grocery store!!!

We spent the first afternoon hanging around camp, simply relaxing. I did a little magazine reading, the middles chased lizards and the 3yo--well he basically spent his time getting dirty. His face was covered within 10 minutes of our arrival. Birdy actually helped oldest set up the tents this year. I usually leave it to the Mr. & the boys but the Mr was not with us and Sammy decided he didn't know how to do it. Birdy was very helpful and I'm glad she participated. Those are the types of situations and moments you witness your children literally, grow, right before your eyes. 

We enjoyed night fall around the bonfire, roasting marshmallows and making smores. This campsite has nice, clean restrooms and running showers with hot water. No extra fee to use them either. (some campgrounds charge $.50 for 3 minutes of shower use) This may seem insignificant but if you really think about it--it's NOT! ;-) The showers do turn off in intervals (felt like every minute & a half. lol) but you easily push a button and turn it back on. 

It was colder than we expected during the night time but the day time hours produced gorgeous weather and nice temps. We did not bring nearly enough blankets. I forgot and almost didn't bring a blanket at all. It happens. We also could NOT find our air mattress pump--not good, not good at all. But we survived. You adjust and you learn to make due--even if you do lose some sleep over it. You learn to practice and exhibit more self control and patience than usual. These are good virtues to practice regularly. ;-)

The first night was actually Sammy's 12th birthday. Birdy was the one who said she wanted to go camping for her birthday but our plan did not coordinate w/ the Mr's work schedule so we postponed the trip a week.

This year their birthdays have been a little 'off' to say the least.

We didn't stay up very late, just long enough for the stars to come out and show their twinkling beauty.  Little did I know what a long night we'd have ahead of us or I might have stayed awake longer. I was too cold and the reality of sleeping in a tent, on hard ground with out an air mattress is exactly what you'd imagine it to be!

Being with your family, in nature, is ALWAYS worth smiling about though. No complaints about that. 

Yes! I run AND camp in a skirt.

I started running again a few days ago with a new goal of 1 mile every day for a year. Yes, even while camping, I stuck to my new goal.


The next day our plan was to head to Big Bear and check out the Discover Nature Center they have. Unfortunately, it is closed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays...the days we were there. That was a bummer but we still had a nice afternoon.

We stopped at this little scenic park/picnic area. We were able to get a beautiful view of the lake and walk around a bit before heading to "Big Bear Village".

I've spent a few mini-vacations in Big Bear so I was able to show the KtBunch a couple sentimental locations that are still there. Some have been there nearly 20 years (or more--I visited them the first time almost 20 yrs ago)--the place has NOT changed much, obviously.

chronological order.
I love how the boys are all sitting the exact same way!

The weather was warm but  not too uncomfortable.

I took a picture in front of this SAME clock post, nearly 20 years ago!
A lot has changed in my life since then--primarily these 4 beauties. 

We stopped at a candy shop and got a triple chocolate caramel apple. Oh! It was so delicious. Sam preferred a nice scoop of cookie dough ice cream in a sugar cone. It was a nice treat to end the afternoon with. We headed back to the camp site to take a hike. There is a trail connected to the site. I think we hiked about 2 miles round trip.

The views were lovely. We could see the mountains and the whole valley below. Simply lovely.

I think we'd all agree the very best part of the trip was on our way home. At the base of the mountain we stopped at this picnic area. It has steps and a trail to lead to a creek (is that was it is exactly? I don't know). We had to cross over water a few times. There are rocks of mini-rapids that create pools. Clear, cool pools of water. It was exactly what we needed and a great way to end our trip. The Ktbunch's entire attitude changed. I'm sure I saw Kurtis grow a little right before my eyes. It's amazing how that works. All whiny-ness stopped, he became more sure and self confident of himself as he crossed natural rock bridges, jumped in water up to his waist. It was sweet to watch.

A funny thing: initially I wasn't even going to get IN the water but I accidentally got the toe of my tennis shoe wet. The ktbunch had ditched their shoes immediately & were barefoot...WHY was I not going in the water myself? I have no idea. But I remembered, I'm the adventurous mom, wife and person and if I don't step into the water, I was going to regret it later, for sure. 

I was glad I quickly remembered WHO I was. The water was not even cold. It was cool and refreshing and beautiful and amazing.

Don't ever be afraid to step into the water and GET YOUR FEET WET!

Then it was time to head home...

I have the BEST kids ever!!!