What Our Advent *might* Look Like This Year.

Things have been challenging the past year and even more so the past few months. I really looked forward to Advent as a time of focused devotion to the scriptures of Christmas, the intentional time to gather with my ktbunch and breathe. It's not all faith and Bible verses but it mostly is. I added a new Advent book/devotional/calendar on a whim last month and could barely wait to bring it out. We are not organized, we are not uptight and we may go strong for a few days a week, for a few weeks. It's something though. A time set apart for meditation, prayer, and being together. It's effort and right now, that's about all I've got to give: good intentions.

All the Colors of Christmas

First, here are the books we pull from: 

I bought this Advent activity Calendar new this year. It has a daily devotional, an advent calendar tree to assemble, and activities to go along with each devo. The main part of this book though, is the brilliant illustrations to color. The pages are large and I expect it could take us years of advent celebrations, to finish each page.

The ktbunch is free to color while they listen if they wish. There is no pressure to participate but the option is there.

Christ in Christmas

I also have a few favorites I have collected through the years and continue to use to enrich our time together. My first book was this classic pictured on the left.

This book contains guided scripture readings, devotional content, classic faith based Christmas carols to sing, an activity and prayer for each Sunday of advent.

We sing the Christmas carol together and it offers another option to enrich our time together.







The next little book is not an Advent book at all. It's a book of prayers I found at the grocery store a few years ago but the prayers are Christmas themed and each one includes a Bible verse.

Each passage is short enough that my seven year old can read it with ease, without becoming over whelmed.

Touching Wonder

This next book I own digitally on Kindle. This one is also an absolute favorite of mine! It is such an honest, raw account of Christmas, as told through each of the characters and players of the scriptural story we know so well. It's not a dreamy version or account but an awe inspiring, gritty and fresh perspective that moved my heart and soul.

The book also includes pencil drawings/illustrations and a hand written letter commentary image for each chapter from the author.






We are reading our scriptures from this Bible I purchased a few months ago. The bible itself is beautiful. It features illustrations to color and wide, lined margins for your own personal journaling and creative expression.










And one more book...that I can only HOPE to use this year...not an Advent or devotional at all but still Christmas themed...it's a COOK BOOK!

A gorgeous book filled with spiritual comfort and recipes to meet your physical and emotional needs. Haha. I also found this one at the grocery store, last year I think.

It features gorgeous full color pictures and scriptures.

Now along with these primarily faith based books and reading selections, I also pull from a variety of Christmas themed books on my Kindle. Most were freebies; novels, a few classics and a couple collections that feature passages from various Christmas books, poems and traditional readings.

Here is a list of some of the books i have acquired for FREE via Kindle.

The Gift  of the Magi
A Christmas Carol
Christmas Stories and Legends
A Little Book of Christmas
The Night Before Christmas and Other Popular Stories for Children
The Children's Book of Christmas Stories

Here's what our modern-use-what-you-have-and-do-what-you-can-Advent looks like:

I don't aim to do *everything* on my Advent wish-it-looked-like-list, but whatever. We gather on my bed, the only common meeting place we have right now. And we take turns reading scriptures, passages, prayers and stories from the variety of resources we have. We may snuggle afterward and watch a Christmas movie if there is one. We will color if anyone wants to in the new advent coloring book. We'll sing a Christmas carol. Maybe we'll do the recommended activity for the evening and maybe we won't. It strictly depends on what we have available, to be honest.

If I'm feeling ambitious, maybe I will have something fresh baked...ok, let's be real! A cup of hot chocolate or tea seems more realistic. We'll see how it goes. Haha. My whole life is in storage and that means all my Christmas decorations. I am trying to keep Christmas in my heart, and maybe that is the point over all. Maybe the forced simplicity can produce peace in the midst of the unrest that is our current lives. Attitude of gratitude, right!?! Got it! 

Friday Hike Day: Bonita Falls-in winter

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I couldn't think of a better way to avoid spend Christmas Day then by being outside. Plus it is Friday Hike Day. We slept in, like we do every day Christmas and after opening presents, it was a later than usual start. We revisited a hike we've taken before because it was short.

Adventure Kids!
Sister and brother.

The weather was cool but no snow like we've been experiencing in our most recent hikes. The graffiti is a real disappointment. You pretty much can't get a picture of anything with out it being in the shot. The falls were as breathtaking as last time.

A shallow cave, surrounded by graffiti.

Low chance of wildlife sighting beyond birds. The two times we've taken this hike we haven't seen any animals. Don't forget your $5 Adventure Parking pass. The parking area is very hard to miss. Google maps may take you beyond the spot into a camp ground. The parking is right before the campsites. There is a port-a-potty at the rocky parking area.

I could not fit the full falls in the frame. 

This was our last hike of 2015...#48 to be exact! I can't believe it! That is quite an accomplishment. I think it has been a remarkable time of adventure, discovery and growth.

This hike is short and looks very unremarkable at first. You travel over a dry bed or large rocks, sand and boulders. Stay close to the mountainside along the left until it opens. From there you will head into the woods. Keep going, around a couple large boulders, until you reach the falls.

Groupie!

As the last hike of 2015 for us, it was a nice respite from the holidays. I was able to spend it with most of my immediate family and, as always, that really is the best gift of all.

See you next week!

Three Kings Day-Epiphany

Biggest King's Cake I've ever seen...served with traditional sweet rice and my version of Wassail.

I rushed around town after work to try and find a traditional King's cake. THIS was all that was left...a super size cake, with five babies hidden inside, enough to feed a party of people, not my little family of 5! haha. I really try to be intentional about finding reasons to celebrate and enjoy simple days with my fam.

Tell me about the story of Jesus and the Wise Men...

Whoa! Talk about #fail. We could not stop laughing when Birdy started out with this Abraham nonsense! You'd never known she's grown up in the church, huh?
It sure did make our night memorable though.
I'm still laughing when I think about it. 

When It's Not the Christmas You've Been Hoping For

Maybe, for today...and tomorrow...You can tell your soul to be happy. To ENJOY the celebrations. Stop resisting, acknowledge the disappointments and find the JOY anyway.

David often, in Psalms, spoke to himself, his soul and commanded it into submission--even emotionally. Perhaps, focusing outward, instead of inward...find a way to bless another, even with your own smile and Joy, will offer some comfort during these challenging times.

Psa 103:1 A Psalm of David.
Bless the LORD, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

Psa 103:2-5 (it's worth reading this ENTIRE CH) Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,

Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies,

Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The Griefs of Christmas

The Christmas season, though often a season of restoration for many-is also a very grievous season. High rates of suicide, death, depression and disappointment.

When we truly look at the birth of Christ, it was not shiny, pretty or beautiful. I imagine it was nothing like what Mary ever dreamt her first labor and birth would be like...surrounded by animals, hay and manure. It was dirty, messy and ugly.

The first Christmas wasn't shiny and sparkly. It was bittersweet. When Christ was born, it wasn't just to give us a new festival or celebration. It was for HOPE! What was born that day, was the HOPE of the world.

We can feel disappointed and unfulfilled, as is also common at Christmas time. We can dance and praise God with grief, disappointment and sorrow. Knowing that nothing will fulfill us-nothing-but Christ alone.

What we need...is Him alone.

It's meant to be that way, for nothing to ever satisfy, to be in a constant state of longing. Longing for Christ. Hope for tomorrow. Hope for better days. We only have hope when today isn't what we want, imagined or dreamed of. It's ok. Acknowledge the grief of today and embrace the hope for a better tomorrow.

Advent for the Disorganized and Unprepared Momma

I know many families have lovely advent wreaths and celebrate Advent with lighting the appropriate colored candle each night that indicates which virtue is being focused on. I have heard adults share how some of their favorite Christmas memories were of lighting the candles, as children, of their Advent wreaths.

Yah, so that isn't happening in our family. I don't have a lovely wreath. I always forget to purchase the candles ahead of time and can't keep track of which virtue is supposed to be covered when. I've been known to use gold, striped candles, in my heavy-can-be-used-as-a-weapon-during-a-game-of-clue-wedding-gift-glass candle sticks, in a pinch.

That doesn't mean we still can't celebrate advent and focus on Christ during this season. We normally have candles lit during our evening prayer time anyway.

I have the book pictured above (you can get it for a steal from Amazon since it's so old). I let one of my children volunteer to read the passage of the day, after we sing along with a Christmas hymn via youtube.

We also read from this little book that I found and bought from the grocery store last year. It contains a short scripture passage or verse and then a coordinating prayer. It is divided into categories such as: Advent, blessings, busyness, children etc. We're just reading straight through, one page/prayer a day.

This is added to our normal prayer time together. I might also read from a Christmas novel or story book if I remember and we have time.

I go out of my way to make the ordinary moments special. They are special because I choose to call them special. We might have hot cocoa with a giant marshmallow and snuggle together on the love seat. Who am I kidding--that only happens if I remember and am extra aware. Normally, we are spread across the floor, gathered around the laptop while the 4yo is bullying the dog into snuggling with him. Sometimes we sing our Christmas carol and then watch an extra youtube video of a silly and fun Christmas song together.

For me, the point is to be together, taking the time to read extra scripture that focuses on the coming and birth of Christ. So there aren't much thrills and frills. Our bed *time* is ruined as none of us get to sleep 'on time' according to what I imagine is a 'decent' bed time, but I believe it is time well spent.

It doesn't have to look or feel perfect. It doesn't have to be fancy. All the hullabaloo is lovely and nice--it just doesn't seem to happen in our house. {the theme of our home seems to be: see, this is why we can't have nice things...} Whether it's picture perfect or you forget the camera to begin with--it's all grace. It still counts and it makes God happy when we enjoy our children and family, the way He enjoys us. Take the time. Slow down. Smile and enjoy each other. That is what matters most. Merry Christmas-time and Happy Advent!

Hay

Mary gave birth to Christ in a stable, lying on a bed of hay.
Joseph brought his first born son, into the world, in a stable, surrounded by hay.
Christ was born in a stable, and placed in a feeding trough meant to hold hay.

No hospital, no midwife, no mother, no bed...just a young wife and her husband, surrounded by animals and their food.

Hay.

Hay is not romantic, not by any stretch of the imagination. It's earthy. Animals eat it, it's chewed, digested and can be recognizably found in clumps of animal waste.

I recently transported 4 hay bales in my van. Across seats, on top of the seats and whatever else way I could make them fit, I did. Hay was everywhere. Hay covered the van floor, the seats, the cup holders, filled my bag, poked through my sweatshirt--inside and out. I found hay in my hair. I found hay in my shoes. I even found pieces of hay in my bra!

As I unloaded these hay bales into my back yard (by myself!), a trail of hay was left behind me. These were tightly corded, large rectangles of hay. As I lifted one, hay dust spun in the air around me. When I dropped the bale, it landed with a cloud of hay scattering across the ground.

Mary gave birth surrounded by hay. It must've been in her hair, poking through the blanket she may have been on, in her dress, between her legs. The swaddling she wrapped Jesus in must've had bits of hay stuck in it. Joseph must've had hay between his toes, in his sandals.

Hay.

I knew Christ's birth was humble.
Next to cattle.
But the hay...
Stuck to everything...
Inside the deep dark places.
Where we can't see and can't imagine.
Hay.
Animal food. Animal waste.
Showing up in bits and pieces, unexpectedly, days later.
Small pieces...long pieces.

How long did it take before all the hay washed out of her robe?
Out of Joseph's tunic?
Out of the babe's swaddling?

When Mary held Joseph's hand as she labored, was there a piece of hay between their fingers? Did she unknowingly, carry pieces of that hay with her when they fled? For the rest of her life, when Mary smelled hay, did it trigger memories of her labor?






Hay.
Fear.
Hay.
Birth.
Hay.
Baby.
Hay.
Messiah.
Hay.
Sin.
Hay.
Death.
Hay.
Love.
Hay.
Life.
Hay.

Santa Train 2012

Yep! Every year we go my Mother-in-Love's house and wait for the annual arrival of the Santa Train. The Mr. couldn't make it this year but the train comes regardless. Usually oldest is a great sport and takes a pic with Santa too but I decided to be in the pic so that meant he couldn't. I sort-of regret that now. It was nice to have MIL in the pic though.

Our pix are always the same and in the same spots along the 'train'. Like the one below that is on the side of one of the 'train cars'.

It's really neat to be able to look back and see how much my ktbunch has grown. It's also neat to have such a wonderful tradition every year.

I'm not sure why this pic turned out blue. Isn't that funny? I don't have a camera or a phone anymore so oldest takes all our pix with his Ipod. This is another favorite picture spot--we always take one on the back of the train too.

Oh Kurtis with his funny faces!  I'm believing CHRISTmas is going to be wonderful this year...like it's been every year...no matter what.

We all squeezed in for one last shot!
Happy CHRISTmas!

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Fourteen years ago, this Christmas, we moved into the house we currently live in. We enjoyed all the Christmas Eve festivities, came back to our 'new' home and laid our sleepy, then 5 year old, in his bed, to awaken Christmas morning, for the first time, in his new 'home'. It was a very Merry Christmas!

For us, it was a real miracle. The Mr and I were working our way back from a six month separation, in our sixth year of marriage. I was in a really bad place, ready and willing to call it quits once and for all. I was ready to start a fresh new life, just me and my oldest. (only one at the time)

I felt absolutely nothing remotely positive for the Mr. I was beyond hurt, betrayed, angry and couldn't even see a glimpse of a future for the Mr and I. For some reason though, one day, I felt compelled to say a prayer...It was a very shallow and selfish prayer, I admit, but I believe God took it seriously.

I told (yes, told) God IF He wanted me to stay married, He was going to have to change my heart. That sounds simple enough at first, right? Except I was not willing to DO anything to facilitate this 'change of heart' I was asking for. My idea of a 'changed' heart meant I wanted to feel all lovey-dovey for the Mr. I wanted the warm-fuzzy, romantic feelings. I told God I absolutely refuse to live w/ the Mr. as a 'roommate' or to remain married out of obligation.

It was a tall order and I had no expectation of God fulfilling these selfish requests at all. Basically I sat there, arms crossed, daring God to change my heart. I don't know what I was thinking but I don't think I fully understood what I was asking, all those years ago. God certainly answered...

Besides my own heart needing to be changed, we needed to save up for the money required to move into a new place. Our son and I were living with friends, the Mr needed a new job and was sleeping on his parents couch.

We began our home search in the opposite direction. A friend happen to be driving by and saw a for rent sign. We were sure this corner, 3 bedroom, 1 bath home would be way out of our budget. (who am I kidding? WHAT budget?) We applied anyway and couldn't believe the low rent they were asking.

The landlords wanted us to wait until January but the Mr talked them into letting us move in right away. I think it helped that he offered to over look the paint job the the interior needed. They were happy we only had one child and obliged.

Fourteen years, 3 more children and innumerable mistakes later...I find myself in a similar situation, with a few minor changes. I can't tell if the situation looks more or less hopeless. Can hopelessness really be measured? Either there's hope or there isn't, right?

I've come a long way in how I perceive love to look and feel like. But hopeless is hopeless. It's the  first week of Advent and the focus is HOPE. We were a young, hopeless couple 14 years ago and God came through in a mighty way. Why wouldn't He come through now?

James 4:2b You do not have, because you do not ask God.  This CHRISTmas, the ktbunch and I are praying for another miracle. Asking and hoping for something we want.

A miracle occurred 2000 years ago that enables this Hope to live within us. Hope was born. 

I could have left my marriage, not looked back and been justified. I wanted to leave initially, at the time...but not now and not when we were in the middle either. When God changed my heart--all I can think is, that it was forever. Permanent. I certainly didn't do anything. Except pray.  God heard my prayer then and I've no doubt He hears it now. 

I prayed for one thing: a desire to be married to my husband. It's still here. Among all the mistakes and regrets, the desire that I prayed for, has never left. 

Heb 6:19 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil,

I can not release this hope. We've come so far, this far, too far, to give up now. 

Psalm 71:14a But as for me, I will always have hope...

CHRISTmas is a time for miracles. 

Which one are you hoping and praying for?

Merry Christmas

Christmas morn we woke slowly, like we always do.We enjoyed exchanging our few gifts and then headed to church.

I am so glad my ktbunch have never been in rush to wake on Christmas morning. 

It was a gorgeous day, I couldn't resist opening the curtains first thing, like I usually do. But it created lots of crazy shadows and contrast for our pix. 

Kurtis is making the funniest face in this pic. I LOVE it. He loved this sword and shield his biggest brother got for him. I think this pic caught him mid roar or something.

Sammy, like the rest of the boys, loves Legos so he was excited to receive this Lego game.

We enjoyed exchanging our few gifts and then headed to church. I don't remember Christmas ever falling on a Sunday, but it seemed like the perfect thing to do on Christmas. The small church we attend on Sunday mornings was actually fuller than usual. I was surprised but given the character of the members of this church-I should not have been.

One of our *family* gifts was to go see the new movie: We Bought a Zoo. It was a good movie. We went to the Drive-In, of course & my dad & brother & his wife joined us. But whew! It was coooolllddd! It was a good thing we were bundled up and brought our coziest blankets.

Christmas Eve

We spent Christmas Eve at my Mother-in-Love's home like we always do. Here we are with the Mr.'s mother & sisters & family.

That's pretty much how we all felt by the end.

Yummy fun & a Puppet Theater

 Inspired by another blogger, I decided to make ginger bread houses with my ktbunch this year. That means I dug in my cupboards to find the stone molds I have. I had forgotten I actually have 2 house molds. I also have a train mold but it's buried somewhere in the black hole that is known as my garage. I also have a small collection of stone cookie molds too. I baked them last night, made a call to my sister-in-love and invited my nephews, bought a few sweet goodies and we all got together today.

Now, that you are totally convinced and feeling guilty and like a loser mom cause you didn't bake your own gingerbread house this year and can't wait to get started to make up for it--let me share some tips I learned with you. And seriously, don't feel guilty--just hit the after Christmas clearance on Monday and score a gingerbread house KIT. It's processed and loaded with enough preservatives it WILL keep till next year--I promise. So back to those tips...

1. After baking, the edges may have expanded beyond the mold--this is not good for attempting to 'glue' them together. The edges need to be smooth.

2. Voila'! I'm a *genius*! Grab a cheese grater & lightly 'sand' the edges of the walls. A small hand held grater works best.

3. Icing can be placed in baggies, snip a small piece of the corner off to apply. HOWEVER, BEFORE you snip the corner, press all the icing toward the corner first. THIs can be accomplished easier if you use something like a credit card, ID or library card. ( I hope you own a library card--if not, go get one right now! Or, ok Monday, if the library is open) Trust me--it's much easier than just trying to squeeze it to the corner with your bare hands.

4. Hey! Look at that! Ginger bread house assembled. Ok--now for the fun part: decorating. Let's get this candy party started.

SUPPLIES

Don't worry, none of that every really gets eaten, (at least not by the kids) it's just for *decoration*. SSShhhhh! Don't tell the ktbunch.

Sammy icing his *side* of the house. Kurtis wanted an apron just like everyone else.

This is VERY serious business. 

Kurtis realized that if the "decorations" don't stick....he can just eat them!

Tada! This is Sam's side of the house. He went with a "candy-graffiti" theme.

Birdy's side of the house, she gets the chimney.

My nephews.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After all the holiday hoopla, I took oldest to work tonight. On the way home, I took side street to avoid mall traffic. (there were THREE accidents in front of my house this afternoon within 20 minutes of each other) I noticed a home with a sign advertising a Puppet Theater tonight. I had just enough time to pick up the rest of the ktbunch and head back over to watch this mysterious show.

It was held at a corner house, the side door/porch was covered with black and red curtains and an attached stage. It looked really fabulous. There was a crowd so at least I knew I wasn't totally crazy to take my ktbunch to this 'event'.

Music started and an older man came out with a marionette. He performed to about 5 different songs with different marionettes. He had a fairy with light up wings, a hippo ballerina, a little boy, a traditional looking jester and more. There was a goofy little girl marionette that danced to this obnoxious song: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. My mom just LOVED that stupid song. I couldn't stop the large grin from spreading across my face when that song started. I know my mom would have loved it.
I know it sounds stupid & I hate when other people say this: but I really felt like it was her just saying hello in that moment. That she really was/is looking down and watching us and everything is ok...she's ok. I guess it was just a moment of feeling her presence...or the memory of her presence.
It was fabulous. What a randomly fun night. I love my city.

Merry Christmas!

Linky to:

Blurry Focus

This Christmas has been somewhat different. In some ways it is very similar to Christmases past....

My children, like many, can be self-focused. heck *I* can be very self-focused. It's easy really. However, as a parent, I attempt to get them focused on the real, the meaningful and eternal qualities of life.

At our church this past month we have been having a Random Acts of Kindness Campaign. Encouraging the congregation to outwardly bless others, in unexpected and random ways. I struggled with this at first because, as a family, I try to lean toward a spirit of outward generosity already. So this campaign felt a little forced because it was actions we tend to already practice. It is almost second nature that as we were instructed to recall and share our acts of kindness, I often couldn't remember what they were. I had to make a concerted effort to try and keep track.

I also try to encourage my children toward opportunities to serve as a family. This is not always the case or possible but for the most part, I include all of them in service projects as much as possible.

One thing we did this season was "Adopt-A-Family" through a local hospital. These families have sick children suffering from cancers or blood diseases. We made and purchased gifts for the family we were assigned. Oldest made most of the 'purchases' while I did most of the 'making' and I included my other children through out the process.

I told them they were not going to be getting gifts this year because we were going to GIVE instead. They are very blessed, they will get at least a few gifts from extended family members, I know this. Although, I know they desire in their hearts for specific toys and other items, they are not in need. That's the other funny thing about Christmas gift giving...it's so unnecessary. I LOVE to have nice, new shiny things....but when I or my kids have a need--I usually acquire it for them, regardless of the time of year. And if I can spare it and find it beneficial, I may give them a treat or reward too.

Here's the thing....walking through the stores, even *I* could feel the desire rise up in my heart. Oh, such wonderful items, fresh sheets, pretty blankets, sweaters, shoes, stickers, glitter, dolls, books, magazines, the list could go on and on. It's amazing how quickly the desire ebbed when I left the stores. I certainly don't have the Spirit of Giving and giving generously, mastered. In no way...but it's something I strive for within the hearts of my family.

We dropped our "adopt-a-family" gifts off late. They were due on Thursday and we were dropping them off Friday morning. At the same time, recipient families were picking up their gifts. When we entered the office, two different families were represented, by a mother and another mother with her child. The mother that was alone had A LOT of bags filled with gifts to carry down to her car. It was second nature to offer to help her carry them down.

She was very grateful and I could tell also a little embarrassed maybe that she was receiving these *donated* gifts...because she began to explain how she hadn't even had a chance to go shopping. I did not care because I already understood. She also had trouble holding back tears of gratefulness...to the givers of the gifts, to us for helping her. Her son and husband were waiting in the car. They could not come up because the son's immune system was extra low and great care needed to be taken to keep him safe and healthy as possible. His eyes appeared extra large in contrast to his hairless head.

He waved and smiled at us as we wished the family Merry Christmas after my kids helped them load up their trunk. I wished I could just grab him and give HIM a big kiss and hug....and his mom & his dad. The tears formed in my eyes.

The shiny things, the gifts--suddenly all meaningless. I know without a doubt, that mother and father would give up every material possession they have if it meant their child would no longer be sick. They'd forfeit ever having Christmas again just to have a healthy, 'normal' day--free from sickness and fear of the worst case scenario.

It's all meaningless. Yes, I know that as a Christian. I know Christ came to save me in my worthless state of being. I've always known it in my mind. Seeing that family, reminded my heart. NONE of this matters, the lights, the trees, the wrapping paper, the tinsel, the glitter.

What matters is what is in the heart. Out of that love, there is no gift that can compare.


O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world, in sin and error pining
Till He appeared and the soul felt it's worth.

Sitting my dented mini-van, leaving that parking lot, I knew I could have given more to the family we were assigned. I could have made more, I could have provided more gifts. I know they will be grateful but nothing I have was so important that it could not be done with out. I can't heal their child, but I could give, with a generous heart. I have nothing to with hold because I have been so blessed.

My soul has felt it's worth, only because He has appeared.
What else can compare?

I am still slightly tempted to get my children gifts, and I still might. But part of me thinks if I do...I will only cheapen our holiday in some way. As if a gift can really satisfy or capture the Spirit we are seeking to live, breathe, walk and convey. I refuse to listen to the lies of misplaced guilt and lust. Giving materially is easy. Truly giving of myself, that is the challenge.

Maybe that is my challenge for this new year....to truly give unconditionally, until I really no longer can. No more holding back, being selfish or greedy with my time, my love, my resources. I wonder what will happen if I do.....

My thoughts are a mix of words and emotions within me....I'm off to sleep on it.

A few of my favorite things

I purchased this Nativity set years ago from a thrift store. I liked the rustic look that it had. This year I placed it in the little niche area of my corner cabinet.

 

  I've had this set of deer since I was a newlywed, back when we only had one child. I thought it was so sweet looking and represented our family. I'd love to find more matching deer to include now that our family has grown so much. The cloth underneath the deer was a crochet piece my grandma made. I found it with her things after she died and I cherish it.

 

This is our Book Tree we made this year. Talk about *frugal*. We had a great time creating this, inspired by a few pix we saw online. We didn't need to spend any money and we also saved space in our small home. We placed this on top of a cabinet in our living room.

This fabric swag was acquired a few years ago in the clearance pile of fabric. I had been eyeing it before Christmas and really liked it and was excited when I saw it in the clearance pile. What I didn't know was that it was only HALF the panel. It's supposed to be a tree skirt. This year I hung it as a swag across my large bookcase that I use as a room divider. I think I really like it there.

This is my collection of Disney castle ornaments. I love Disneyland-everything about it. We used to go quite regularly and always managed to somehow visit during Christmas season too. This year, unfortunately, we were unable to work in a visit but I hold lots of wonderful memories at that park. Behind the castles, you can see my mirrored Advent calendar--also acquired via after Christmas clearance.

 Our front door is adorned with a memorial wreath, made with Rosemary from my yard. Rosemary is symbolic for *remembrance*. I wanted to create this wreath in memory of those who are not with us and we miss very much, my mother and my father-in-law.

Except for the little bit I spent for the wreath supplies, I did not spend any $$ on decorations this year. I used what we already have, some in new ways.

Linky to:
Debbiedoos Newbie Party
Savvy Home Monday
And

Mary--before her song

She laughed. She laughed as if she'd just heard the funniest joke in the world. She stopped laughing when she saw that he wasn't.

 She had been kneading bread when she was suddenly interrupted by a voice softly calling her name, Mary. When she turned around, she was startled to realize no one there, at least no one human.

"No, no..it can't be. It just can't be." Mary said as she backed away, knocking into the wooden chair next to the wooden table, causing it to rock slightly. She quickly grabbed the back of it, unsure if it was to steady the chair or herself.

 "I'm not the right person for this. Who am I to be chosen for such a task? I'm too young, no one even takes me seriously." She sat down in the wooden chair, put her elbows on the table, leaning her head in her hands. She wished her parents were with her now, to witness this conversation.To tell her what to do, to hold her and tell her everything was going to be 'ok'.

"What will my parents think? No one will believe me. Momma will be heart broken. My father-oh God-father will disown me! This can't happen--it's just not possible." She stood up abruptly, put her fingers to her temples and began rubbing her forehead pensively, her thoughts racing to try and figure out the situation.

"You just don't understand. What will Joseph think? Joseph...He'll leave me. I love him, don't you see that? I LOVE him. What if he leaves me? Then what do I do? Do you understand what you're asking me to do?" She began pacing the dirt floor of the kitchen area in her parents house.

"I can run away. Yes, I'll run away. I'll go, I can go...go to...where can I go? There's no where to go."

"You can't, you can't ask me to do this. Oh God! The neighbors, the townspeople,they are going to stone me! They will kill me for this! KILL me!" She felt her self begin to tremble in an uncontrollable panic.

She crumpled to the floor in a heap and began sobbing. "Oh God! NO! Please, please don't ask me to do this. Please, no. No, no, no, no..." Her voice trailed off, strangled by her sobs.

As the tears spent themselves she began to feel a warmth and a calmness envelop her body. She was no longer gripped by the fear that threatened her minutes earlier.

"Ok, I trust you...I will trust you," she said. "I am the Lord's servant," she whispered as she bowed down, her forehead to the dirt floor.



Then, she began to sing.

Speaking of Christmas lights...

About a week ago, after I dropped oldest off at work and was on my way home, Birdy asked if we could go Christmas light looking when we got home. Yes, I wanted to just BE home, driving back and forth, while not labor intensive, is still tiring.

We were still about 15 minutes or so away from home but out of the corner of my eye, some lovely lit up homes caught my attention. I decided to turn, off out regular route and look at the home near where we were at. They were very nice. We all ooohed and awed over them.

We were back on our way when I noticed a guy struggling to enter the tunnel we drive through on the way home. He was attempting to carry his bike and a bike tire. Strangely I knew I should give him a ride.

But I was a female, alone, with her two youngest children in her car! That wasn't very safe or wise to do, right?

I passed him but couldn't shake that I knew I was supposed to give him a ride. I felt bad for him, it was late, it was cold and trying to carry a bike is not easy. This is crazy. He could be dangerous...I'm not sure the Mr. would approve.

I said a prayer aloud: "Lord is this you? Cause if it's not, please keep us safe cause I think it is so, I'm gonna pick up this guy."

Once again, I turned off my route to go back. As I was retracing my drive, I was in the #2 lane and a van was on my right. If I get in front of the van then stop for the guy, the van might be upset because it's a no stopping any time part of the street.

The lane the van was in was an on ramp to the freeway lane, suddenly I was free and clear in the far right lane. I pulled up to the guy, my heart so nervous, and honked. He had stopped to try and adjust the bike but turned around quickly.

"Do you want a ride?"
"Yes!" he said with out hesitating.
"Put your bike on the rack."

See, I always have a bike rack on my van because I ride my bike to school. It couldn't have been more perfect. He got in and he was SO grateful. To be fair, he certainly didn't look like a murderer or a vagrant. He was probably in his mid to late twenties? He said he was visiting his brother in LB and on his way home, the screws that hold the front tire on, just broke and fell apart. How does that happen?

The thing is....he had only broken down about a block before we crossed his path. It was perfectly ordained. Had the Lord not put it in Birdy's heart and mind to ask to go Christmas light looking and I had not had a heart to agree to go right then and there---we would have missed him. We would have passed him while his bike was still working and intact.

I know we live in a fair weather state, but how many people *really* have bike racks on their cars?

We were destined to pick him up.

I *never* would have picked up a male stranger, never in my life. Only that I truly believe it was what God told me to do. I often pass cars broken down on the freeway and wish I could help, had something to ffer, but I don't now how to change a flat tire and being a female, it is often unsafe.

Hearing the Lord clearly and seeing how He arranged all of this so perfectly....He obviously loves that young man very much. I wish I would have told him...but hopefully our actions showed him...I did tell him it was his very blessed day.

I chatted nervously and then dropped him off at a park he designated was near his home.
before he got out he said, "Thank you so much, you have made my week!"

Sparkle, sparkle

Another favorite tradition we have, as I'm sure many others do too, is going Christmas light looking. I don't even know what exactly it is that draws us in, but I can never resist. Oldest went to this area recently with the youth group. After I picked him up from work I asked him to direct us to the area.

It is along the canals on Naples Island in Long Beach. Oh it is absolutely lovely. You can walk along the canals, in front of the homes and ooohhh & awe at all the wonderful displays. One home was themed after National Lampoons Christmas Vacation (remember that movie?) via the "Griswold" family. It was fabulous.

Another home was made into a giant Santa face. Many were simply gorgeous. Well, the homes are gorgeous, in and of themselves, but with the lights, it's really nice. It was a nice way to end the evening.

Kurtis only wanted to admire the water, over and over. I wish I could have taken my family on a gondola ride. I imagine it would be so lovely this time of year. We did see one gondola go bye and plenty of other tour boats. I think the ktbunch would really love to go on a gondola tour.

That was one of the last excursions I did with my mom, go on a gondola ride through the canals. It was my sister-in-love (brother's wife), my aunt (mom's sister) and myself. We had a lovely afternoon that day.

Aren't those some fun pix with the lights. I need to explore with my camera more. Isn't my ktbunch the best? I love them to pieces and I can't imagine my life without them in it.