Monday, November 29, 2010

a moment of silence

That's pretty much all I have to offer on the occasion....
Yesterday was my mom's birthday.  The actual day she was born...not reborn.

Four years have passed by so quickly. So much has changed. Her death left so many unimaginable consequences. There is some good, yes.

But the holes are glaring and obvious...but we, or I, can do nothing but stay silent.
Our family is fractured at best.  The hole that was left by the absence of her presence became two, that goes unmentioned most times. But we all know it's there. 

Family gatherings and traditions...well, I guess this is the year we stop pretending and have to accept that they are no longer *family* gatherings.  Everyone off into their own celebrations now.

I haven't been to the cemetery in ages. A part of me wants to...the romantic part? The realist in me figures what's the point? She's not there. If I want to give her a message, I'd simply pray to God and ask him to deliver it to her.  Which I rarely do anymore...I know she doesn't care either.

So her birthday passed with out much notice or acknowledgment.  The silent thought and remembrance was in my heart though. I imagine it was that way for most of us that knew her personally.

Maybe that's how it is for everyone that has lost someone they love.  In the name of moving on...

Eventually their life simple becomes a dialogue of specifically remembered highlights.  The moments you choose to repeat and share. An extremely condensed version...from a book, to an article, to a blog, to a tweet...until it's nothing more, or less, than a moment of silence.

Which, perhaps, is the most appropriate, in the end.  Because how do you truly sum up a life, in mere words? One dimensional words? 

Maybe the silence, is the truth, the deepest description...because anything more...would be, well, not enough.


  1. My hubby's dad has been gone 4 years now this past October 2nd. He was his only son. Then his birthday came in November and I really didn't know what to do.

    Do you talk to your kids about your Mom? Do you remember with them or share stories? I asked my hubby if he would do that to Keep his Dad's memory alive and real. Is that a bad thing?

  2. Yes, if we think of something about her, we will share it, or laugh about it. I don't think it's a bad thing @ all...I think it's so different for everyone...


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