Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Of Course, I'm thankful...

Aren't we all? It goes with out saying, right? ...or does it?

November seems to be official 'month of giving thanks'...or Santa won't bring you anything but a lump of coal!

That sounds horrible, doesn't it? But it DOES seem that way sometimes. Right before the big holiday, we feel all humble-like--oh we better be sure to get our thanks in so we won't feel guilty next month when we start the holiday crunch and frenzy.

Sometimes being thankful doesn't need to be announced for the world to see what a great person you are. So filled with humility and righteousness. What about all the other months of the year? All the other days and moments of those days? What about the times you're feeling less grateful and more resentful? Or the time when your cup really IS half EMPTY and your thirsty enough for a FULL glass of water. Are you, am I, thankful then?

Am I thankful when I'm not sitting in front of a huge baked bird and a table full of foods to feast on that I don't normally eat?

This year, quietly, I have really attempted to BE thankful, not just say I am. Some days I have been successful in my attempts. Others--I have failed miserably, worse, it's often in the same, predictable ways.

I want to acknowledge, daily, what I am thankful for. From the minute I wake up I attempt to look forward, with delight even, to my day. It's a challenge when the day stares back with grey, foggy, cold eyes. When the day appears to offer nothing but yesterdays worries that grow into tomorrow's set backs.

For me, that's when I take a look back...for all that it's worth and I place my trust in a man who promised to never fail. A cheesy and sometimes obligatory glance reminds me of a savior that I need. To carry me through this day and the next, beyond the pains of the past that mingle with the fatigue of the present. I trust all leads to the delightful future. Because the past, no matter how dark, is never permanent.

I have had days where all I can muster is being thankful I can breathe.  Moments I'm not even thankful to be alive but if I must--at least I can breathe this life. Days that turn into weeks where I wonder if I will ever over come my habitual failings--I am thankful for the grace to start again tomorrow. Other days are carefree and I want to break out in a song and dance like they do in old black and white films and I believe my life must have always been this charmed.

But mostly, I look around me beside my own failures, I see these other amazing human beings...my children...who love me unconditionally and I feel a piece of God's heart gripping my own and I know that I AM LOVED and for that, I am most thankful.

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.Be joyful always;pray continually;give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. I Th 5:15-18

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