When God is all you got...

...He is all you need.

I'm having a hard time fully buying into that statement. If truth be told. I may believe it with my head. My heart...well, my heart is holding out. It's hard to fully trust when you've been let down and disappointed so much and so heavily in this life. Even if it's not by God.

A few weeks ago, I was stranded far from home, me and one of my boys. The car sputtered and the engine light came on. I had about 4 freeways to get home. I had NO idea how I was going to make it home and no one was going to come and get me either. I was completely alone.

Through tears, I told my middle son, "I don't know how but somehow God is going to be glorified in this!"

Can a woman feel any more alone and abandoned than to be with a broken down car knowing no one is going to come to your rescue and having no automobile mechanic skills? (& no $$$)

I did know how to check and put oil in my car. So I did, yes, it really needed it too. Then I thought of something else...

I had no other options BUT to fully rely on God in this. No $$$ for a tow truck, no ideas what to do, the gas station I was at was even going to close and lock their gates soon, my phone kept freezing and dying even. I tried not to panic.

The oil reminded me of something. I always carry anointing oil with me in my bag. I have two actually. One is the oil of gladness and the other, I didn't even realize, was the oil of *healing*.

What did I have to lose?
Yes, I did it.
I said a desperate prayer... and took  the healing oil...and anointed my engine!

The engine light was still on but it had been awhile.
I had no other choice but to trust.

I began my journey home along the streets instead of the freeway...that was going to take forever. Eventually, I felt confident enough to venture onto the freeway. We made it home with out a hitch, in good time.

The next day the Mr. was able to figure out the issue and replace the needed part. (a sensor thingy)

Faith?
Desperation?

God has never left me abandoned. Never left me alone. Never left me homeless. Never left me hungry...except for Him.

And yet?
I hesitate.
As if somehow, today maybe? Will be the day He gives me a different answer...or walks away.