Tuesday, March 18, 2014

St. Patrick's Day

It's not a major holiday but it's another day to make it count...like every day. In the past I would have enjoyed any excuse to bake platters full of sweet treats and goodies to deliver to my husband's job. Considering the circumstances, combined with the fact that I am practicing being gluten free during the Lenten season...no treats were baked or delivered.

I did set the table, like I always do, but added a few drops of green food coloring to our daily lemon-water and called it Leprechaun Lemonade.

I also scored a few bouquets of fresh flowers on the way home from working out, in clearance buckets, from the grocery store. A dozen red roses for $2? YES, please!

I didn't forget how 'Jennifer' had invited us back to the convalescent center for St. Patrick's Day, after our visit on Valentine's day. I planned to make cards with my kiddos again and deliver them to residents during their party.

Like last time, it didn't take much effort or time. I picked up a pad of St. Patrick's Day themes stickers from Joann's on my way home from the grocery run that was on the way home from our work-out...Great thing about procrastinating--all the holiday items were on clearance! The book of stickers was only $.50. I also got us festive foam head bands in the shape of leprechaun hats, tiaras and a sparkly green beard! Birdy helped the most with the cards.

Here's the deal...I feel so alone, so much of the time. It's a different type of loneliness, than being surrounded by your kids all day. Many things have changed, beyond just my marital status being in a current state of 'limbo'. There isn't anything I can do about what it is either. During this season, I have intentionally chosen to look outward instead of so much focus inward and on what is missing from my life or what I desire that I don't have. Part of this healing, and coping, is to look for opportunities to serve others, and give in a way that I am not given. I think there is a principle here about giving--and being blessed in return.

My family feels needy and sometimes helpless, because a very important component of being a family is not here and we can't do anything about it. I am taking back part of that control and power we have been robbed of, by these small acts of love and kindness. Giving to others, what we desire to receive ourselves. I am leading my children, through this process by getting their eyes off of their own lack and onto trying to meet the lack and needs in and for others.

My oldest was working like he usually is during these hours so he had to miss all the elderly fun we had. haha. It didn't take us long at all to pass out the cards. There wasn't any singing this time, so there wasn't any opportunity to dance either. Maybe next time. I did see another big X in the sky (chem trails, probably) again but I forgot to take a picture.

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