Just Tell Me I'm Pretty!

I used to joke that all I needed was someone to 'tell me I'm pretty' and I'd be...something...putty, smitten, tempted, easy. Haha. I used this joke to imply how vulnerable and needy I felt I was. With that vulnerability in mind, I aimed to keep very large boundaries around myself.

Then one day I didn't. I let my guard down and I let myself listen to the flattering words. I started to react exactly as I expected I would. My inner nineteen year old was thrilled. My inner twelve year old was writing Mrs. ________ across her yellow peechee, in fancy cursive. It was fun and exciting to imagine all the potential and possibilities...for exactly.one.minute.

I'm not nineteen and I'm farther from twelve than I'd like to admit...I can't even remember the last time I saw a yellow peechee with the athletic silhouettes on it. It wasn't enough. I'm not as easily enthralled as I thought.

How my kids take pix of me! 

When the sweet words stopped there wasn't anything left. There's more to me than my shell or body or face. It's no longer enough to be told the opinion someone has about how I look, no matter how positive. I'm worth more than that. I AM more than that. I can hold a conversation longer than a flirtatious laugh and internet wink.

Who doesn't like to be told they look nice or be complimented on how well all their days at the gym are paying off? If it stops there though and there's nothing more to offer--then it stops. Conversation shut down. If a guy can't hold a conversation beyond simplistic flattery and facetiousness...What is that? It's nothing. It's lame, boring, pathetic and foolish. Foolish to think that's all a grown woman wants to hear and foolish if one actually falls for it.

If that's all you're hearing, does that mean that's all the speaker is seeing? I don't want to be seen as 'just another pretty face' or any other body part. I am a whole person with a whole heart and a whole life of experiences. I've had better and longer conversations with people that held absolutely no romantic (or otherwise) interest in me and it was fabulous. So why would I settle for anything less than that, along with an indication of something more?

Maybe my life will change some day. Maybe I will meet someone actually interested in what I have to say and want to listen (or read? ;-) ). Until then, I am smart enough to know, flattery will get you no where.