Thursday, October 13, 2016

When We're All Acting Like the Desperate-Jesus-Needing Humans We Are!

It's been some kind of week. The type that leaves my heart and mind all over the place and I'm not exactly sure where to land. Feeling as if the only two options are to eat all the pie or nothing at all. Sure, the worship music is on but I don't feel like singing along. The 'all-I've-got-to-give' looks a lot like 'just sitting there.' For my weary soul, that's everything. There's no cure and I don't need fixing-because being the one that stays, counts. It's enough.

I asked...told? my kiddos NOT to give me their assignments to grade the night before or morning of their learning record meeting, warned them to get their work samples together early...The night before and morning of--here I was. Feeling discouraged and like a failure because my kids had pretty much done everything I warned them not to do.

My frailty was evident as I felt like losing it and going off on everyone. Isn't everyone aware of how stressful my life is already? Dishes that only take minutes to do, left undone. Items and objects that could easily be put away, left out. Shelves carelessly over stuffed with random papers and ish everywhere.

Enough to drive a mom mad, of course.

In the heat of my exasperation...the epiphany.

Everyone was simply acting like they need Jesus. I was upset because no one was doing what *I* wanted--even if what *I* wanted was good, useful and wise. And I was taking it personal because...?


My kids don't need me, they NEED JESUS! Just like I do. And I was getting upset because they were actually acting like it!?! Duh. 
Big. Fat. Duh.How else should they behave? Like they *need* ME? Like they have it all together and don't need anyone? Certainly not Jesus?

Why wouldn't I expect them to need Jesus and to actually act like it. Isn't this what every scripture and historical record in the Bible is about? One account after the next, of human beings prone to failure, trying to do this life on their own?

They need Jesus just as much as I do.
I need Jesus just as much as them.
The need is not dependent on chronological age.

Recognizing their need, my need, our need--enabled grace. Grace I need, is the grace I can give.

I want my children to need Jesus, not me. Even more, I want them to recognize it.
Maybe it requires me recognizing and remembering first. 

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