Sunday, September 4, 2005

What are you holding on to?

Not long ago, I found an nasty letter that was written to me YEARS ago. It was an angry, mean & threatening letter.

I had forgotten all about it & the incident it was referring to. I wondered for a moment WHY I had even saved it. I also remembered that I had found it even earlier & saved it back then.

WHY would anyone save something that would remind them of a bad time? I know exactly why. I was holding onto that letter as a grudge. I wanted to somehow feel validated or to have proof of how *I* had been wronged. How WRONG this person was for writing this to me.

By holding onto that, I was putting myself in the victim mode. I was keeping myself as the victim & trying to lift myself up as a martyr. It's a very evil thought process.

I decided to 'let it go' once & for all. I physically threw the letter away. Hoping never to be reminded again. Noone would ever find this letter. Noone else would ever know how *I* was 'wronged'.

I believe this is how God wants me all to deal w/ trangressions against me. To 'let them go'. Forgive & forget. Somethings are easier to forget than others, true. But that does not give me liscence not to try.

How many 'incidents' am I holding onto? Am I measuring my self-worth or value by the # of times I have been 'wronged'. Am I holding onto some righteous indignation?

I Corinthians 13: 5b Love......keeps no record of wrongs......

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