Monday, June 12, 2006

More thoughts...

I don't want to forget a THING!

When we were waiting for the guy to come pick up grandma, my aunt noticed & pointed out: my grandma had NO wrinkles on her face. Her face was SO smooth & relaxed. I figured there is hope for me yet! lol No need for a face lift, I guess you are so relaxed in death that the skin can be smooth.

She was 91 years old so her skin was pretty wrinkled normally.

My oldest ds pointed out that grandma 'walked' for about 90 years. Like if she started walking around 1 year old. That is a LONG time to walk. Imagine? If the average person takes about 4,000 steps a day, that's 1,460,000 in 1 year, times 90 years....122,400,000 steps in her lifetime. If I did the math right. lol

My other grandma was telling me that my mom was a good daughter. She took care of my grandma for all these years & you couldn't ask for a better daughter. I thought that was a VERY nice thing to say & I told her she should tell my mom that.

Later my DH commented on how strong my grandma was, to live 91 years, what a strong woman.

My grandfather, her DH, died when my mother was around 3 years old. My grandmother never remarried. Her life, from that point on, revolved around my mother & my aunt. I don't remember her being a very assertive woman & I don't remember having very many conversations w/ her or anything. But she was nice & she let us play & make a racket @ her apartment, when she lived on her own.

I wasn't particularly close to her or anything. I did spend a couple years watching her during the day after her stroke & during her alzheimers when she could still communicate a bit.

She used to really enjoy crochet. She made me an afghan when I was in highschool in the colors I wanted: HOT pink, black & white. I still have it, it is on my dd bed. That was really nice of her. 3 generations of crocheters, even though I did not learn until a few years ago....she started it, then my mom learned & I intend on teaching my dd.

The last few years, you could tell she would still enjoy it but she could not longer remember how to hold her hooks. She spent her time tangling & then trying to untangle her yarn. It kept her quite busy. :o)

She always loved to admire my work though. When she didn't notice anything else, she noticed crochetted stitches....& jewelry. She liked sparkly bracelets.

She was very close to my mom, VERY close. She lived w/ us for many years & after I got married & moved out, she was only on her own for a few years or so before the alzheimer's really set in & she moved back in w/ my parents.

When the guy finally did arrive, he was waiting @ the front desk for quite some time....so I took the initiative & approached him. I told him, I think you are here for us, he asked if we were w/ 'Barbara'? My grandma & if the person who would be making the decisions was here. My dad was w/ me so I told him yes, that would be my mom. He said the decision he needed right now was whether or not we were going to have an open casket, because if so then he needed authorization for embalming, it was something that needed to be started right away.

I thought it was funny, the look on his face. When he was facing the counter, he had a 'business' look & as soon as he verified we were the family of his, what do you call it? package? job? whatever, anyway, his face totally changed to one of sympathy & condolence. His entire body language switched to one that looked of concern.

But I wondered, since he does this for a living, if this was really his 'business' look. He had the 'sympathy' look down pat. We left as soon as my mom signed the papers, but I kinda wanted to stay. I mean how was he going to transfer her to the gurney? All by himself? OR does he call the nurses in to help him or what? He was alone in semi-dress clothes, he was wearing a tie.

I almost wished I could help him. I definately wanted to stay & watch & make sure they were gentle w/ her. I don't know. I didn't want to leave her all alone w/ strangers. The gurney he had, had a red cloth, I wonder if that is what they wrap her in when they take her out...or if it's because that is the companies 'colors' or something.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Kt, this is so sad...I know you guys have been dealing with this for a while and know that you were as prepared as you could have been. It's never easy though. I pray that you feel peace during the whole process and that you receive the support that you need. Know that I am praying for you and your entire family. Be Blessed.

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  2. It's great you want to remember everything about her. And I used to work in a funeral home - while it is business, you can never totally disconnect from the feelings you face when you deal with death.

    I'm sure they will be gentle and careful with your grandma.

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