Monday, May 21, 2007

Never Alone

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no.
I needed you today
So where did you go?
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
And though I cannot see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep reassurance
You've placed in my life.
We cannot separate
'Cause you're part of me.
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen.

The first time I heard this song....all the 'religious mental tapes' ran through my head. I thought; "how dare they sing that God isn't there...He's always there for us, everyone knows that, every good Christian knows that." Right?
But I was drawn to the song...I continued to listen to it over & is pretty much exactly how I think & feel. I don't 'feel' God, I don't really 'see' God. But somehow I do know that He is real. I have seen Him work in my life. I can attest to that.
But for me, it is not a feeling. That goes along w/ my basic personality as well. Not much of a feeler anyway, not very emotional.
I love how honest this song is. Many people testify to feel God & see Him, to know him so personally in ways I've never experienced. I've often wondered if there was something wrong w/ me. I can easily get caught up in the lingo to be sure I sound like an authentic & good Christian.
Lately, I've gone to the other end.....more of that raw honesty w/ God. I've realized...He can handle it. I've noticed more and more people are thinking the same way. It's ok to be angry @ God, ok to question Him. I think God desires our whole heart, body, mind & soul & that includes the good bad and the ugly. He really can handle it.
For so long I couldn't be honest. I thought I had to be a certain way, always the 'right way'. I'm not talking about righteousness. I am referring to saying the right things, acting like you got everything under control, you are ok, doing fine ect. You are a "good Christian".
Even w/ my questions, as this song describes, I still know, deep in my heart that God is always w/ me. I know He is real....even if I can't see or fell Him. My experience, though, may not always look like the next Christian's....or maybe it actually does.

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