I've been specifically praying (for a few things) but particularly for God to reveal to me any roots I have within myself. Especially as we were going through the FAST, for the month of February, w/ the theme of "Breakthrough"....
And I'm realizing that even though I'm 34 years old...there are things buried deep inside, I wasn't even aware existed...or had had any affect on my life.
But they are there. hurts? wounds? disappointments?
So now, I am on this mini-journey for what? To face it if nothing more.
That is the first step, to face these things head on. The things that shaped me, go through the doors, break down the walls & see what happens.
It might be painful. I suspect it will be. Ok, I think I'm pretty sure it WILL be.
The main thing is, I realize that this junk between E & I, the real pain I felt, really has nothing to do w/ him, if that makes sense...it's deeper than that. Farther back, before him even.
Why God wants me to acknowledge it, I don't even know. I don't know what the point even is...but I suspect it may be.......freedom.