Yesterday was my birthday & I went to a prayer meeting in the evening....a friend recommended it to me. I had been looking forward to it for weeks. All day, I kept thinking, maybe I will be reborn on my birthday. Strange thought to have but I kept having it.
I was really praying & hoping for a miracle within my life. I had been hearing & learning about generational curses & prayers for it. God had revealed to me some generational patterns within my life & family, so I was really interested in being set free from all this madness.
Dh agreed to go w/ me. The people were nice....I will cut to the chase but it was a long night. Towards the end of the evening, they were praying w/ me & leading me through various prayers & there was a part where the pastor was guiding me to picture or imagine my birth. Part of me thought it was hokey but I was willing to try anything @ this point & hope for some real change in my life.
I could picture my birth but it was form a viewers perspective, like from the outside looking in...the pastor asked me if Jesus was there, yes he was. The amazing part was how my perspective changed....I could feel like God was asking me to choose, Jesus had his hands out & I was thinking, I am an infant, i can't choose....I can't even move. lol Then my perspective changed & I was no longer an outsider looking in, viewing the scene, I was looking up @ Christ from myself as a baby. I chose to look up at him. I did it.
Then I felt myself get panicky: asking him to take me w/ him. Then he responded: My daughter, I am not going anywhere.
Interesting but lately when I hear the Lord speaking to me, he addresses me as 'my daughter', not by name or anything else, but 'my daughter'.
And I think I wrote about an image I had a few weeks ago of Christ lifting me up then holding me as a little girl. Well I had that image again but there were more little girls around. Christ was holding me but my mother & grandmother were both there as little girls, standing around him.
I think there are so many things that happen to us, wound us, when we are little that stay w/ us our entire lives, and we are not even aware of it. but Christ is right there w/ us & He can heal, cleanse & free us from those deep hurts, whatever they may be.
Afterwards, I just felt so light & free. Words do not adequately describe the feeling but I know it was real & I wish everyone would do it. I feel like a lifetime of oppression is gone from my life & my children's lives. I have a strong hope for the future w/o dread or fear.
I can't really explain it but it's different. I know my entire life has been changed...for the better.