Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Lots of thinking...

It's what I do right? lol

I realized lately that dh & I are in an odd position in our social circle & in our lives....most of our friends 'our age' have been married only a few years & have a couple 'young' children or so....certainly not currently raising a 'teenager'!

Most of the people who have been married as long as us, well, no offense but they are usually older, even within 10 years or so older.

And, I am noticing a new breed of 'young people'...younger than we are, but DIVORCED.
I think the church needs to realize this new group of 'singles' out there. Sure, they may be young, & possibly not as much life experience, but they are hurt & HAVE BEEN married. I am meeting more & more younger people who have already been married & are now divorced.

We can't ignore this, as a church. And the younger couples need to hear, just as much as the longer married couples, stories of redemption, reconciliation & real, true to life stories of marriages.

Currently @ our church we have quite a few 'younger couples', only a few years married or soon to be married couples. They need to know that a covenant IS a covenant. You don't get to upgrade cause you get bored. Marriage is not a cell phone! kwim?

Seems outrageous but I think the mentality is really out there. And they need to hear about redemption & forgiveness. I can only imagine (having been close) how devastating a divorce can be. Maybe even more so for a couple that is young & hasn't been married that long. I don't believe anyone gets married w/ PLANS to divorce.

I truly believe all marriages start out hopeful & thinking all their dreams & fantasies of love are going to be fulfilled in that one person.

DH & I are in a weird 'state' because we DO have quite a bit of marital experience, we have been married an unusual length of time, given our age. One might say our 'experience' is not a very good example, given our marital history....but *I* would venture to say that it gives more weight. We ARE still married right? What did we do or not do that got us to this point?

Good & bad, both can be learned from.

Maybe we are finally in a place where we will be able to share that knowledge. I hope to be transparent enough to do that. Maybe now is the time & season in our lives that God will start to use this mess of a marriage we have to minister to someone else.

I don't know. But I do know I am ready to take that step. To share what I have learned, from every angle, about being a wife & my place within my marriage.

No, I do not have all the answers....but I do have something to offer.

1 comment:

  1. You are so right about the young couples who have been divorced. People around my age are getting divorced by the time they are 24! And the idea that marriage is deposable is rampant, even among Christians. I've had to deal with it with two friends. One chose to go back to her husband the other divorced and I hear is married for a second time. She's 25. I've seen a LOT of pain in the lives of people who are married and divorced at least once before their even 30 years old.


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