No, actually there IS some exciting news to share...
(that title is simply inspired by the weather lol)
DH got an AGENT! A real live, reputable agent! Here we go. It's funny, it's just *one* step but it's a step so many *never* take! Or try to take & just can't get *there*. I know it's what we've wanted & been working towards & it's the right move in the right direction...but suddenly..I feel like it's just not real.
The *realist* in me suddenly feels like stepping BACK! Too afraid to *hope*. Why? God has NOT let me down, ever. Especially in the past few months & years of trying times. Yet, when it's time, when we're getting close to *it*--I step back in *fear*. I know what it is. I'll admit.
Fear to hope & dream that something we've *really* wanted could possibly HAPPEN! I mean let's be REAL here right?
But then WHY? WHY be *real*? I have seen God produce *real* money, literally out of thin air. I have seen God work miracles in physical bodies. Miracles in emotions & changes of heart...& yet...
I guess it just seems too unreal to happen. I know people think this whole *acting* thing is SO UNrealistic...right? But if you know it's where God has been leading you....but you were ignoring it for SO long...Why would it be UNrealistic then? When you *know* God has gifted you w/ this amazing talent...why wouldn't you use it?
I know, it's only ONE step..but it's a huge step forward. Contracts need to be signed next week, pictures have been updated & the audition process begins. There are hundreds of audition notices *every* day for 1000 of aspiring performers.
Then I realize, this is ALL about business, money for the agencies & casting directors. kwim? They are NOT our *friends* they don't make money or get paid to tell you nice things. They ONLY represent you because they have a *gift*, if you will, to be able to LOOK @ you & believe they can MAKE $$$ off of YOU! kwim? They WANT to make money. This is real & believable. My DH is not a *product* that the agent believes will make her $$$$. This is such GREAT news!!!
When I can view it like that...through the lens of my admitted doubt...I can see the potential. I am so excited to see what God is going to do here. Why would I allow my own insecurity to infiltrate my positivity & hope I had last month? My excitement...last month I KNEW this day was coming...& HERE it is! Since when have *I* ever been afraid to HOPE? Go BIG or go HOME, right? I've hoped for more impossible things then this.
Here we goooooo!!! :-D ;-D :-D