She laughed. She laughed as if she'd just heard the funniest joke in the world. She stopped laughing when she saw that he wasn't.
She had been kneading bread when she was suddenly interrupted by a voice
softly calling her name, Mary. When she turned around, she was startled to
realize no one there, at least no one human.
"No, no..it can't be. It just can't be." Mary said as she backed away, knocking into the wooden chair next to the wooden table, causing it to rock slightly. She quickly grabbed the back of it, unsure if it was to steady the chair or herself.
"I'm not the right person for this. Who am I to be chosen for such a task? I'm too young, no one even takes me seriously." She sat down in the wooden chair, put her elbows on the table, leaning
her head in her hands. She wished her parents were with her now, to
witness this conversation.To tell her what to do, to hold her and tell her everything was going to be 'ok'.
"What will my parents think? No one will believe me. Momma will be heart broken. My father-oh God-father will disown me! This can't happen--it's just not possible." She stood up abruptly, put her fingers to her temples and began rubbing her forehead pensively, her thoughts racing to try and figure out the situation.
"You just don't understand. What will Joseph think? Joseph...He'll leave me. I love him, don't you see that? I LOVE him. What if he leaves me? Then what do I do? Do you understand what you're asking me to do?" She began pacing the dirt floor of the kitchen area in her parents house.
"I can run away. Yes, I'll run away. I'll go, I can go...go to...where can I go? There's no where to go."
"You can't, you can't ask me to do this. Oh God! The neighbors, the townspeople,they are going to stone me! They will kill me for this! KILL me!" She felt her self begin to tremble in an uncontrollable panic.
She crumpled to the floor in a heap and began sobbing. "Oh God! NO! Please, please don't ask me to do this. Please, no. No, no, no, no..." Her voice trailed off, strangled by her sobs.
As the tears spent themselves she began to feel a warmth and a calmness envelop her body. She was no longer gripped by the fear that threatened her minutes earlier.
"Ok, I trust you...I will trust you," she said. "I am the Lord's servant," she whispered as she bowed down, her forehead to the dirt floor.
Then, she began to sing.