Monday, January 30, 2012

Nineteen

yah, he has a 'thing' for sunglasses!
I celebrated my nineteenth birthday with my then-boyfriend-who-later-became-my-Mr. He took me to a restaurant where the wait staff dressed in costumes from different decades. Mid-way through the night, they stood on the bar and danced and sang. It was in Hollywood so I felt very sophisticated and cool.

Less than a year later, I was married and gave birth to a six week premature, 4lb 1 oz bundle of flesh and bone via emergency C-section. My eye sight was extremely blurred so I could barely make out his image as they held him up and said, "It's a boy!" As if I didn't know already.

That tiny baby, though his slightly under developed lungs would reveal asthmatic tendencies years later, wailed for hours a day for three inconsolable months. I thought I knew enough to be a wife and mother but I had no idea how to get that baby to stop crying. Nothing worked. Some moments I had to give in and accept that the best choice for the moment was to put the beautiful child down in his crib and walk away--for the good of both of us.

Of course in retro-spec I realize how much I did not know about life and how much I have learned and developed since then. It's never been so obvious as when I look at this baby--having just turned nineteen and try to imagine HIM as a father and husband.

He's light years ahead of me in spiritual maturity. He sees the world around him fairly clearly. I can't help but feel I am looking, at least somewhat, into a mirror....and I recognize what a young parent I really was. I see how much he still has ahead of him, so much more to learn about himself and about life.

oldest strolling youngest in Washington DC during our epic road trip 2010.

Looking back I am at peace to know I was there. No wasted days. Home-educating has played such a big role in our lives. It's been our lifestyle and I don't regret a minute of it. All of his big childhood moments, his parents were right beside him. The successes, challenges, and disappointments as well as the moments of fun and adventure. I don't regret *being there* at all.

All those hours of crying turned into years of growing and teaching and developing a fine young man. I am so excited to watch the rest of his life, as well as the lives of my other children, progress.

I imagine my mother must have felt this way when I turned 17, the age she had me...

God's grace has been such a prevalent force in my life and the life of my family. To have such a wonderful young man for a son. One that still gives his mom a kiss goodnight and goodbye.

A young man that can have real conversations with adults and parents. A young man secure in the knowledge of who he is in Christ.

What more can I ask for?

Oh, he celebrated his nineteenth birthday Saturday, at home, surrounded by friends and family. We had a bonfire in the back yard, lots of pizza and sweet goodies. After the party, the police showed up, stating they got a call from a "neighbor" that we were out of town and therefore they were concerned about who might be in our back yard. Yep, I can't make this stuff up!

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