|yah, he has a 'thing' for sunglasses!|
Less than a year later, I was married and gave birth to a six week premature, 4lb 1 oz bundle of flesh and bone via emergency C-section. My eye sight was extremely blurred so I could barely make out his image as they held him up and said, "It's a boy!" As if I didn't know already.
That tiny baby, though his slightly under developed lungs would reveal asthmatic tendencies years later, wailed for hours a day for three inconsolable months. I thought I knew enough to be a wife and mother but I had no idea how to get that baby to stop crying. Nothing worked. Some moments I had to give in and accept that the best choice for the moment was to put the beautiful child down in his crib and walk away--for the good of both of us.
Of course in retro-spec I realize how much I did not know about life and how much I have learned and developed since then. It's never been so obvious as when I look at this baby--having just turned nineteen and try to imagine HIM as a father and husband.
He's light years ahead of me in spiritual maturity. He sees the world around him fairly clearly. I can't help but feel I am looking, at least somewhat, into a mirror....and I recognize what a young parent I really was. I see how much he still has ahead of him, so much more to learn about himself and about life.
|oldest strolling youngest in Washington DC during our epic road trip 2010.|
Looking back I am at peace to know I was there. No wasted days. Home-educating has played such a big role in our lives. It's been our lifestyle and I don't regret a minute of it. All of his big childhood moments, his parents were right beside him. The successes, challenges, and disappointments as well as the moments of fun and adventure. I don't regret *being there* at all.
All those hours of crying turned into years of growing and teaching and developing a fine young man. I am so excited to watch the rest of his life, as well as the lives of my other children, progress.
God's grace has been such a prevalent force in my life and the life of my family. To have such a wonderful young man for a son. One that still gives his mom a kiss goodnight and goodbye.
A young man that can have real conversations with adults and parents. A young man secure in the knowledge of who he is in Christ.
What more can I ask for?
Oh, he celebrated his nineteenth birthday Saturday, at home, surrounded by friends and family. We had a bonfire in the back yard, lots of pizza and sweet goodies. After the party, the police showed up, stating they got a call from a "neighbor" that we were out of town and therefore they were concerned about who might be in our back yard. Yep, I can't make this stuff up!