Monday, July 17, 2006

Weekend Update!

This past weekend was bittersweet.

Friday was the 'viewing' for my friend's son's funeral. He was barely 18 years old.
I wasn't planning on attending the viewing, but another friend called & asked me to go w/ her so I did. I was glad that I did since there were lots of friends there. They had lots of his things set up, there were 2 adjoining rooms, he was in one room & the other room held momentos & a constant running slide show of pictures documenting his life. There was also a poster board collage of pix.

Some artwork he had made was on display as well. There were 2 attendees w/ small babies. I thought, you never imagine when you hold your baby in your arms that you will only have them for 18 years, sometimes less. Yes, it made me teary eyed to think that.

My friend, the mother, was on auto pilot, of course. She died her hair black w/ blond streaks on each side of her face. Her ds said he wanted her to have her hair black for a year of mourning after he died. She did show an outburst of raw emotion @ one point, she was in the hall, visiting w/ some guests & for some reason she thought they had closed the casket, she suddenly, almost screamed, "WAIT! I didn't say goodbye!" They were not shutting it yet. I feel emotional just typing it.

Apparently, his father tried to show up earlier in the day. The fmaily refused to let him in. What a sad situation that could easily have been prevented. You see, one of her dying son's last wishes was that his 'father' not even be told of his death nor allowed to attend the wervices if he did find out. The father has chosen NOT to be there for his son in his last months of life, much less prior to that. He knew his son was dying, but he refused to be there for him.

I don't care what the father's reason's were, they will never be good enough. I know my friend, she was not a 'difficult' or 'psycho' ex-wife either. She loved her boys. THe paternal grandmother ahd not been too involved in her grandsons lives either, but when she heard he was terminal, she put her own issues aside to be there for & w/ him. He readily accpeted her. She was able to find out that 'her issues' had been formed under false pretenses. She was ashamed of her son's behavior.

This was so sorroful to hear of.

Saturday was the actual funeral service. It was a nice service. The boy had dictated a letter to his mother to read @ his service, he had been planning it himself. Dh was able to attend. Many friends were there, out of the woodwork, it seemed. It was a nice show of support. It was nice to get caught up on everyone too.

I purposely brought the ktbunch for that reason. I know everyone was surprised to see them. I mean surprised as in the last time they saw us we only had 1 or maybe 2 children, not 3. lol

I didn't realize that one friend had never even met our youngest who is 4 years old.

The father did attend the funeral, the funeral home todl the family they could NOT keep him away, he was in a room off to the side. I thought that was fair. Funny, none of us even knew what he looked like. The priest kept mentioning this was a time for 'unity' & not 'division', he mentioned it ALOT so we suspected the father was there somewhere. He was not mentioned during the service, nor in the letter the boy wrote.

Later I went to my pqrents house for a bit, SIL wanted to borrow my sewing machine to sew some curtains for her bed. After that, I went to MIL's home. They invited us over because they were bar-b-q-ing because they wanted to watch the fight. I didn't particulalry 'want' to go, especially w/o DH, but having just been to a funeral, kind of puts things in perspective & priority.

Family IS a priority. I will value even more the time we have w/ each other, regardless.

Sunday, my parents planned a picnic @ the park. The weather was wierd. The day before, was blazing hot @ the funeral but Sunday was windy, a bit cooler & it even began sprinkling @ one point. We went to church later in the evening.

It was a calm weekend.

2 comments:

  1. Wow...it sounds like this funeral was not without some drama...but it also sounds like this boy left a mark on the world. You're right, we need to treasure our family and enjoy each and every moment.

    I pray your weekend (this weekend) is a blessed one. We're gonna be busy on this coast...although DH is heading to LA on Sunday.

    Have a good one!!

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  2. Glad to know a lot of support was shown for the family during their loss. Sad that the father couldn't lay aside his issues to be there for his dying son.

    Hope you have a great weekend.

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