Tuesday, November 28, 2006

She gave me a pen.

Before my mom died, one of the last outings we had was a girl's day out. My SIL, mom, dd & I went to a tea house & had a lovely lunch & tea. It was so girly & nice.

Mom could barely keep her eyes open & she was afraid she was embarrassing me by falling asleep. I assured her she wasn't & that nobody even noticed. She was starting to 'look sick' & quite different & had hardly any strength left & could barely think straight. Sil did her hair for her that day.

Afterwards, she wanted to get my aunt, her sister, a gift or souvenir. She picked out a little tea book & 2 boxes of decorated sugar cubes. @ the check-out, almost as an after thought, she bought a pen. They had a bunch of very gaudy looking pens, covered w/ shiny baubles & rhinestones & personally, I thought they were a bit ugly but refrained from commenting.

As we walked out she gave SIL a box of sugar cubes & then she gave me the pen. How did I KNOW it would be for ME! lol She said: 'it's not much but here....cause I know you like to write'. It was quite thoughtful of her....& it also seemed a bit odd, {because there were much prettier & daintier items in the shoppe I would have preferred to have} but I figured it was because of how tired she was & everything..

I never told her I liked to write. She knew I had a blog & I was the one who encouraged her to start her own blog. {you can read them here & here} I don't think she knew that I have been a 'journal keeper' since I was 12 years old {okay folks that's OVER 20 years! lol}.

I didn't think much of it besides the fact that it might be one of the last material objects my mother ever gives me. The more I thought about it & thought over that day & her words....the more I really thought about it.

SHE used to write poetry. SHE dreamed of writing books. SHE loved to read & was a very good reader. I don't know when I learned to read & I don't ever remember learning. It's as if I just ALWAYS knew how to read.

But somehow, some way, she encouraged me. She passed that gift on to me, w/o ever really trying. It was more than 'just a pen'. It was a way to capture moments, feelings, memories....& record them for all time. A way to express myself & communicate clearly & effectively on paper or through a keyboard.

And it is a gift in more ways than one. A gift like a talent, because I know not everyone has that gift. And a gift like a treasured present, that holds a priceless value that cannot be measured. She gave me something intangible.

I know she thought she was buying me 'just a pen' that day...but what she really gave me, is so much more than that & always will be. I will probalby never be a 'published' writer in the getting paid for it sense, lol....but it is something I enjoy & she knew I liked to write, but she didn't realize that it was because she liked to write.

It was because of her.

Thanks for the pen, mom. :-)

and happy birthday.


  1. Anonymous7:36 AM

    That made me well up with tears, kt!! It's so nice that you had the opportunity to share special moments and memories with her. And it's even more special that you are recording them to pass along.

    Hugs to you!!

    :-) Susan

  2. Anonymous7:21 PM

    Happy Birthday Babz!


  3. Thanks for sharing that Katy, I have a few things my Mom gave me like that and I treasure them.
    You are in my prayers during this holiday season, I know this is my first Christmas without my Mom and I'm almost dreading it.


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