She gave me a pen.

Before my mom died, one of the last outings we had was a girl's day out. My SIL, mom, dd & I went to a tea house & had a lovely lunch & tea. It was so girly & nice.

Mom could barely keep her eyes open & she was afraid she was embarrassing me by falling asleep. I assured her she wasn't & that nobody even noticed. She was starting to 'look sick' & quite different & had hardly any strength left & could barely think straight. Sil did her hair for her that day.

Afterwards, she wanted to get my aunt, her sister, a gift or souvenir. She picked out a little tea book & 2 boxes of decorated sugar cubes. @ the check-out, almost as an after thought, she bought a pen. They had a bunch of very gaudy looking pens, covered w/ shiny baubles & rhinestones & personally, I thought they were a bit ugly but refrained from commenting.

As we walked out she gave SIL a box of sugar cubes & then she gave me the pen. How did I KNOW it would be for ME! lol She said: 'it's not much but here....cause I know you like to write'. It was quite thoughtful of her....& it also seemed a bit odd, {because there were much prettier & daintier items in the shoppe I would have preferred to have} but I figured it was because of how tired she was & everything..

I never told her I liked to write. She knew I had a blog & I was the one who encouraged her to start her own blog. {you can read them here & here} I don't think she knew that I have been a 'journal keeper' since I was 12 years old {okay folks that's OVER 20 years! lol}.

I didn't think much of it besides the fact that it might be one of the last material objects my mother ever gives me. The more I thought about it & thought over that day & her words....the more I really thought about it.

SHE used to write poetry. SHE dreamed of writing books. SHE loved to read & was a very good reader. I don't know when I learned to read & I don't ever remember learning. It's as if I just ALWAYS knew how to read.

But somehow, some way, she encouraged me. She passed that gift on to me, w/o ever really trying. It was more than 'just a pen'. It was a way to capture moments, feelings, memories....& record them for all time. A way to express myself & communicate clearly & effectively on paper or through a keyboard.

And it is a gift in more ways than one. A gift like a talent, because I know not everyone has that gift. And a gift like a treasured present, that holds a priceless value that cannot be measured. She gave me something intangible.

I know she thought she was buying me 'just a pen' that day...but what she really gave me, is so much more than that & always will be. I will probalby never be a 'published' writer in the getting paid for it sense, lol....but it is something I enjoy & she knew I liked to write, but she didn't realize that it was because she liked to write.

It was because of her.

Thanks for the pen, mom. :-)



and happy birthday.