How do I FEEL?

My body wracks & heaves
Is it possible to vomit up a lung
My chest aches
I imagine any minute now my heart will burst out of my chest

I am doubled over in unimaginable pain
Pain I can't really feel but it is there
Tears flow freely as the screams & cries of sorrow are silent

Does God hear me?
Does He know how I feel?
Does He know how much my SOUL aches
the heaviness in my chest that weighs me down

I think I am going to die from sorrow
How much can a human soul really take
I pray & scream & cry out

I am begging
I can't get any lower
please make it stop
GOD!

I imagine He must know
but why then does He allow this to continue
For what purpose

I imagine He feels what I feel
How can He take it
How can anyone ever go through this
How did they survive

Am I the only weak one
Will this kill me
what can I do

Is there a way to stop it
I think not
Can I disappear

Depths of pain and sorrow
run deep
deeper than I've ever known
Release me

another night I cry myself to sleep