Monday, October 13, 2008

I don't get it

I tried & fought so hard to keep my marriage so it's really hard for me to understand those who are not. I don't believe anyone ever takes the idea of getting a divorce lightly but still...because you aren't happy?

It's so disappointing, especially when there are children involved. Why not keep it together for them? To me, it is the ultimate in selfishness. I am not referring to abusive situations. But if you are so unhappy w/ your spouse--so what? You can be civil & live as roommates. What will really be accomplished if you divorced? A lower standard of living, more hard work as both parties have to work to survive & support their families, more stress w/ a loss of income, sharing holidays, custody battles, & stressed & emotionally disturbed children who don't care about your personal issues, they just want their families together. kwim?

You won't magically find 'happiness' by being divorced. I believe it's the grass is greener idea.

I'm not trying to be judgemental--cause I have only walked in my own shoes. I am admitting I DON'T UNDERSTAND the mentality.

I'm no better. I HAVE been there, wanting to run away--but there's always a sense of responsibility. When I chose to have my children, I chose to put their needs above my own. Worst case scenario--it's the bottom line. And I also believe God has honored that. I am not stuck in a miserable marriage because of it.

I also believe you can make your own life what you want. If your life/marriage isn't the dream you thought it would be, well MAKE it into what you want--within the proper boundaries. You can still have a full adventurous life w/o prince charming meeting your every need, kwim?

You can enjoy yourself, find fulfillment in your own accomplishments, your value & self-worth in Christ alone.

I don't understand running away. I understand wanting too...but not following through w/ it. I do not find 'unhappiness' as a justifiable means for divorce. I don't care how neglected or unloved you FEEL. Find friends! Look to Christ to provide all your needs.

Is it a lack of faith? A lack in belief that Christ really will supply all your needs? Even the emotional ones? What is it?

Cause I just don't get it---@ all.


  1. I commend anyone who can stay in a marriage where no love exists - I wasn't one of those people. I couldn't imagine showing my daughter a 'room mate' life for a marriage. I wanted her to know that marriage was much more than just co-existing in a house together. At least that's how I viewed it.

    Thankfully God was gracious and my daughter is healthy mentally as well as physically and has no huge repercussions from the divorce. Although I know some will always exist.

    And thankfully, God allowed me to find someone who would love me. A happy, fulfilled relationship.

    I'm glad for grace.
    And 2nd chances.

    Staying wasn't option.
    But again, I totally commend anyone who can do it.

    I was one of the selfish ones I guess.

  2. I can appreciate that & definitely I wrote, I admittedly, *do not understand*. But that does not mean I do not sympathize.

    I appreciate grace too. ;-)

  3. My parents did the 'roommate thing' what a disaster that was. Of course they did not have God in their lives.


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