Lately I have been so blessed to watch my children. It's not anything literal they are *doing* to bless me, but it's just a feeling of watching them & seeing*who* they are.
I can't put my finger on it exactly but it's something.....
Like I am seeing *who* they are for the first time...& I *really* like them. They are so enjoyable. It's as if they are suddenly surrounded by a spirit of *freedom* & are really flourishing in that freedom. Their personalities are joyful, fun & creative. They are growing spiritually & I can see that freedom as well. Freedom to not fear listening to God & *expecting* to hear his voice. Freedom to serve & bless others w/o fear or inhibition.
It's a feeling like putting in all this time, training, effort & investment & I'm beginning to see the returns. I know I am not done w/ all of it....there is still plenty of work/training to do....but to see them shining, so brightly, touches my heart.
I see my oldest self confident & assured. Willing to help people, a good conversationalist, not partial to people but friendly to everyone. He's the kid in youth group that will reach out to the ones who look lost or alone. He attends most service events...for what? He could be spending his time differently, but he chooses to spend his Saturdays serving others.
My middle-not-so-little, such a sweet spirit, willing to help. Knowing he can ask God to speak to him & believing He will answer. Growing confident of his abilities. That roughness or harshness that is sometimes carried or taken on by children in outside school, is not there. He's just himself. He doesn't want to stand out, he simply wants to obey & please others, he wants to serve & he wants to sing.
Then there's Birdy...aaahhhh...my complicated girl. She's everything all rolled in one. Self assured, free to also be herself. Sensitive, caring & loves to dance. Not afraid to be on stage or speak her mind. Not afraid to get dirty & look cute...all @ the same time. Not afraid to pray & ask God for healing & already assured in HIS love for her that HE cares for her & she feels *special* BECAUSE she is confident that her Heavenly Father loves HER & that makes her believe she is one of the most special girls on Earth! I hope she never loses that!!!
Seeing them *flourish*, that is the word that comes to mind, encourages me, as a mother, knowing I have been a part of that. Somewhere, w/ all my failings, along the way I have been able to lead them to the creator, to the one who will *never* fail or let them down. The *ONE* who DOES see them as the most special person, child, son & daughter on Earth. The one who DIED for THEM & them alone. As he did for each us, individually.
I think that might be it.....they are beginning to have a grasp of their identity in Christ. Something it took me what? 34? 35? years to truly realize? And maybe they don't understand it intellectually but they feel it in their heart & soul. It's what allows us to truly be ourselves, separate from outside forces, wounds or expectations. They know they are a creations of Jesus Christ & have the freedom to simply BE who they are....in Christ.
Perhaps it's my own new found freedom & confidence in my own identity that allows me to recognize it within them......