Today Birdy turns 8 years old. I can't believe it. She truly is such a fascinating creature, that is the best way to describe her.
I was so afraid when she was born---afraid to let her down, as a mother. I felt ok w/ boys--but a daughter! O goodness. I thought it was good I had my mom for *her* to lean on. It took so much of the pressure off of me. Then when my mother died--I was panic stricken as I thought to myself, 'NOW what am I going to do?'
I felt so much pressure. I was the only one that could teach her how to be a woman, a wife, a mother. What if I did it wrong? G.A.S.P! what if she was super girly & I am not? What if she was a total tomboy & wanted nothing to do w/ being feminine? What if she HATED me? These were my serious thoughts. AND how do you 'wipe' girls anyway?
Then an amazing thing happen.....I was suddenly free to embrace all that was feminine. No more seeing feminine as a weakness. If she wanted to be girly, I could be girly. And if she wanted to be sporty, that was ok too. She was only 3 days old the first time I painted her toenails. Seriously.
She was quite the opposite of 'hating me'. She was an extremely high needs baby. I have since realized her love language is touch--evident since she was born. She *needed* to be touched in massive doses. Not to easy for someone w/ a huge don't-touch-me-bubble. (@ the time) It was a drain at first but I got used to it. Now she writes me the sweetest love letters all.the.time. I cherish each one.
She was the baby of our family for 7 years until baby K was born last year. She adjusted well & was quite the little momma. I try not to always put it on her, but it's just that she is so capable of caring for him when I need an extra hand. How many 7 yo (the age when he was born) do you know that can change a baby's dipey-even the poopy ones, efficiently?
I am excited to see how and who she will grow into. She got her first hair cut this past year and today she got a brand new bike...that she *will* learn to ride! I am truly enjoying seeing her flourish and blossom. still she remains such a mystery. love, Love, LOVE that girl.