I don't think I've ever really blogged about how I train my children. I think many people assume I have naturally easy going kids. That is far from the truth and maybe someday I will go into more detail about that. ;-)
I have many areas I lack in as a parent but I do sincerely love & enjoy my children and I make a concerted effort to make sure that they *know* this. I would like to start with a list of a few things I have done as a mother and that have proven to work for our family.
1. I apologize when I am wrong and ask for their forgiveness.
2. I respect their individual personalities and do not expect to make clones of myself.
3. When I recognize a character flaw in them, I check myself to see if I am exhibiting it first & make changes as necessary.
4. For my oldest, I acknowledge that parenting him, as the first born, is new territory and a learning experience for all of us, mistakes are bound to happen on all sides.
5. I allow & encourage my children in their own personal relationship with Christ and expression of it.
6. I pray diligently and sincerely for each of my children & their future spouses, and wisdom for myself as their parent.
7. We support each other, primarily, as a *family*. This usually means attending individual functions (like sports events, musical recitals, art shows) as a family, not just the parents.
8. I do not treat them all the same. I treat them according to what their age and maturity necessitates.
9. I am not afraid to acknowledge to them that sometimes I really do NOT know what I am doing.
10. I speak positively to them of their dad & do not allow negative comments to be made about him.
11. I listen to their opinions even if they are wrong and I fully disagree and I thoroughly explain my reasons why.
12. Supervision is my number 1 parenting tool, for any age.
13. We laugh together A LOT.
Wow! I guess I could keep going on and on, the more I think about it. And let me admit that I have probably FAILED at each one of these things @ some point, I am sure....thus the NEED for number 1!!!
I glean from those who have gone before me and respect their wisdom. I have read many parenting books and have probably instituted various insights I've gained from each one. I don't believe any *one* method of training children is the absolute *right way* & I don't believe any one method can claim to be God's *only* way of training children.
I believe some child training 'methods' can be as destructive to parenting, as 'religion' is to a personal relationship with Christ. Children, from the same 2 parents, are created so unique and individual, how could they ever possibly respond the exact same way to the same parenting & discipline techniques? They have their own physical dna, how could we deny that they have their very own heart dna too?
I try to parent each child according to what works best, based on their individual temperaments, love languages, passions, weaknesses & personalities. I am in constant prayer for wisdom and knowledge on how to best & most appropriately love and care for each one of them, so that they can flourish & thrive into the individual being God has created them to be.
How's that for a small glimpse? ;-)