Sunday, November 7, 2010

A small glimpse on child training

I don't think I've ever really blogged about how I train my children.  I think many people assume I have naturally easy going kids. That is far from the truth and maybe someday I will go into more detail about that. ;-)

I have many areas I lack in as a parent but I do sincerely love & enjoy my children and I make a concerted effort to make sure that they *know* this. I would like to start with a list of a few things I have done as a mother and that have proven to work for our family.

1. I apologize when I am wrong and ask for their forgiveness.
2. I respect their individual personalities and do not expect to make clones of myself.
3. When I recognize a character flaw in them, I check myself to see if I am exhibiting it first & make changes as necessary.
4. For my oldest, I acknowledge that parenting him, as the first born, is new territory and a learning experience for all of us, mistakes are bound to happen on all sides.
5. I allow & encourage my children in their own personal relationship with Christ and expression of it.
6. I pray diligently and sincerely for each of my children & their future spouses, and wisdom for myself as their parent.
7. We support each other, primarily, as a *family*.  This usually means attending individual functions (like sports events, musical recitals, art shows) as a family, not just the parents.
8. I do not treat them all the same.  I treat them according to what their age and maturity necessitates.
9.  I am not afraid to acknowledge to them that sometimes I really do NOT know what I am doing.
10. I speak positively to them of their dad & do not allow negative comments to be made about him.
11. I listen to their opinions even if they are wrong and I fully disagree and I thoroughly explain my reasons why.
12. Supervision is my number 1 parenting tool, for any age.
13. We laugh together A LOT.

Wow! I guess I could keep going on and on, the more I think about it.  And let me admit that I have probably FAILED at each one of these things @ some point, I am sure....thus the NEED for number 1!!! 

I glean from those who have gone before me and respect their wisdom.  I have read many parenting books and have probably instituted various insights I've gained from each one.  I don't believe any *one* method of training children is the absolute *right way* & I don't believe any one method can claim to be God's *only* way of training children.

I believe some child training 'methods' can be as destructive to parenting, as 'religion' is to a personal relationship with Christ.  Children, from the same 2 parents, are created so unique and individual, how could they ever possibly respond the exact same way to the same parenting & discipline techniques?  They have their own physical dna, how could we deny that they have their very own heart dna too?

I try to parent each child according to what works best, based on their individual temperaments, love languages, passions, weaknesses & personalities.  I am in constant prayer for wisdom and knowledge on how to best & most appropriately love and care for each one of them, so that they can flourish & thrive into the individual being God has created them to be.

How's that for a small glimpse? ;-)

2 comments:

  1. that supervision thing... that's key I think... getting to know each of your kids. getting to know how I respond to each of my kids..... not easy, time consuming, though provoking... but rewarding.

    Kt... I've "known" you for a lot of years and I've always looked up to you for your parenting.

    and now people say the same things (easygoing, nice, happy, obedient) about my kids as they do about yours...

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  2. Good post. I'll keep these things in mind :-)

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