Thursday, December 15, 2011

Semester over!

Of course my LAST day of finals AND the semester did not start off well. I was late to my 8AM final--the dreaded physical science that I am just praying I at least get a D in--I will receive the credit I need--a C is not necessary. My GPA is strong enough also that it will merely make a dent in it--nothing major.

I kept feeling the stress of being late threaten me. I remembered though that most of the students, myself included, tended to finish our exams rather quickly. I told myself I had plenty of time--and I did! I tried to take my time. The exam was still hard. Many of the questions were familiar but not enough for me to feel %100 that I knew the correct answer. It was mostly 50-50. That's where test taking strategies comes in, right?

It felt SO good to be DONE with that class. I SO hope I don't have to retake it. I threw these study notes away with a BIG, GIANT smile on my face. A BIG one. Then I suddenly felt afraid that I might regret that--if I fail, you know? But you know what? I also resigned my self to the fact that it won't kill me if I DO have to take it over.

And hey--imagine getting a D and it would merely drop your GPA marginally. That's pretty good, right? But...I want straight A's. Even as a grown woman--WHY do I feel so, so, so.._________..over the idea of NOT achieving *perfection*. I have a family, a busy one and yet somehow, in my mind, I feel I should succeed at *everything* & not only succeed but accomplish what I attempt, well.

At the same time, I tell myself I am doing rather well, considering. Right? Not because I am *all that*--cause Lord knows (literally) I sure am NOT. Keeping on keeping on--that's what I am GOOD at. Getting up when I fall down, I guess. 

But hey...I'll know when I know and for now, I have no worries--just concentrating on the present. Semester OVER & now it's time to CELEBRATE all that is CHRISTMAS!

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