Friday, February 10, 2012

If I wrote Romeo and Juliet...

I love Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare. I especially love the Baz Lurhman movie version that featured Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes. Swoon! Greatest love story ever told, of course. That version is one of my most favorite films of all time. (My absolute fave is Wizard of Oz, of course!)

However, I'm not a fan of traditional romantic movies and I love a good ending--which Romeo and Juliet really isn't, well it's a good ending but certainly not a happy one. I prefer happy endings but not in the cheesy chik-flik way. Don't give me that cheap sap!

I want to see real issues or struggles that people have a hard time with BUT over come them together. I don't want fairy tales where a prince suddenly rides in and the princess is saved just in time. PPpuuuhhlllleeeeze! Save that for the five year olds--or better yet SPARE the five year old.

I believe in true and honest love. I believe people can feel meant for each other or they can learn to realize how meant for each other they are.

But truly, I think the secret is knowing one another. I've been hearing lately, from various sources, that a married couple really doesn't get to know each other until well into their 20 and 30 years of marriage. WHAT! Well I'm fairly certain that 1) most might not make it that far and 2) WHO wants to wait that long to get to know someone? haha. If you think about it makes perfect sense! If you view the years of marriage as a life cycle...a 5 year old marriage is barely starting kindergarten. A 15 year marriage is a teen....20 years isn't very much when you realize the marriage is *barely* an adult!

I also base my idea of love from the Bible. It's not a feeling that flutters back and forth in the wind like a fallen leaf. It is a strong action, a word that DOES such as: it waits patiently, it covers a multitudes of wrongs, it endures, it always hopes and it doesn't name a few.

See, if I had my way....everything could be the same up until the time Romeo and Juliet are in the tomb, and Romeo has found Juliet's supposedly dead body. He's there, he's sobbing. BUT because he TRULY loves her, he just can't believe she is dead. (which the audience all know she is not) He cant believe it.

He does not lose hope. He's there, maybe sobbing his heart out but he grabs her by the shoulders and he hugs her close. He tells her he just KNOWS it can't be true....because he is hoping so hard it isn't. He KNOWS she would not kill herself. Even though he sees (mistakenly) w/ his eyes that she is dead. He knows & believes with all his heart and every cell of his being that it can't be true.

His body is wracking, nearly vomiting in earnest with disbelief. Then...there is a twitch. Did he feel that? Did he imagine it? His cries are quickly stifled as he listens intensely. There it is again! He stares deep into her face looking for a sign. He turns his head and holds his ear to her mouth for signs of air. He feels a slight tickle of breath. Again he is surprised. Could it be? He bends his head to her chest to listen for a heart's faint, almost unnoticeable but he is sure he hears it.

Slowly, her heart beats stronger, her eyes flutter open and she gasps strongly for breathe. She sees her Romeo and they embrace sweetly, as he showers her face with kisses.

Blah, blah, blah,then their parents walk in, are over come with shock to see Juliet alive. They realize what a miracle it is to have their daughter alive and no longer care about a petty family feud. Romeo and Juliet's love bring their two families together and they look forward to little grand kids.

The point is, Romeo never gives up hope because he KNOWS Juliet. He knows that underneath what he sees (her dead body) it just can't be true. His truth is that she also loves him, he knows this and he holds firm to that foundation. (yeah, I know they barely know each other but work with me here, okay?)

To me, love and ultimately marriage, is not something you walk away from, no matter what. You hold firm and you fight for it. If you are at a stand still--you stay up all night, or however long it takes until you reach a solution that will WORK. If there is a problem, you don't hide it, you seek help and answers from others with more wisdom and knowledge who have been there. You keep searching until you find that help.

Marriage is not for the weak and cowardly, that is for sure. It changes you...from the inside out. You realize that life isn't and really never was all about you. For the rest of your life (if you do it right) you now have another to answer for. Your actions no longer affect you alone. And in this crazy life, you have the opportunity to grow beyond immediate infatuation and physical attraction. You have this once in a lifetime opportunity to really, truly get to know someone and allow someone to get to know you and love each other anyway.

Because love was never about you to begin with. Love is not self-seeking.

I think people tend to mistake marriage and their spouse as 'optional' because they aren't related by DNA. You chose to be with someone and you can choose to be with out them. Well, sure you can...but it is not meant that way. It's meant to be like family. You know you've had those moments with siblings, maybe you were so irritated and upset with your sibling BUT in the end, you both KNEW that you "loved" each other. Whatever the issue was, when mom said "Go work it out." you did--there was no other choice. They weren't going to STOP being your brother or sister. And as far as siblings go, usually, you didn't have to have long drawn out conversations and discussions about WHY you were mad at each other and how you felt so unloved. Usually, it was left unsaid and you knew if you wanted a playmate the next morning you better be nice and ask them to join you in the backyard for a game of tag.

Sure, as adults we want to "use our words". Go ahead. Use them to edify, encourage and build up. Use them to seek solution not retribution. Be a peacemaker. BE married.

FREE printable image from BlackCoco Designs.

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